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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816933">To Dream of Peace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyitsVi/pseuds/HeyitsVi'>HeyitsVi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BAMF Haruno Sakura, F/M, Haruno Sakura-centric, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Moral Ambiguity, Multi, Murder-Suicide, Non-Mass, Non-Massacre AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Psychological Warfare, Strong Haruno Sakura, Violence, naruto - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:27:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyitsVi/pseuds/HeyitsVi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With every life she took with her hands that were taught to heal, Haruno Sakura took another step closer to the madness eating at her own mind. Those around her grit their teeth and vowed to continue to do what they had always done. Protect her. Even from the village that they swore allegiance to.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>422</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Medics Make the Best Killers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger warning: Heavy depictions of suicide, child abuse, and violence.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I learned a lot of cool stuff, Sakura-chan!" Kakashi heard Naruto say excitedly.</p><p>His most exuberant student was on a short visit to Konoha in the middle of his journey with the Toad-Sannin. Of course, he decided on his own that it was time for a Team 7 reunion.</p><p>The Copy-nin was more than a bit surprised to open his door to his former students. Naruto bouncing with excitement, as his left hand tightly grasped on to Sakura's own and his right one tightly holding on to Sasuke's collar. They stood at his doorstep while Naruto recounted to him how he ran into Sakura at the Hokage's office and managed to drag her to the police force to convince their Uchiha teammate for a team lunch at his favorite restaurant.</p><p>"That's great, Naruto," The soft voice of the young girl said, effectively snapping him out of his thoughts.</p><p>"Yeah, that's great," Sasuke said, surprising all three of them with the rare compliment, "The idiot needs all the help he can get."</p><p>Kakashi let out an amused chuckle.</p><p>"I'm not an idiot, bastard!"</p><p>"Stop calling me that."</p><p>Kakashi subtly glanced at their only female teammate.</p><p>She had been quiet during the meal. <em>Too quiet.</em></p><p>Sakura did actually participate in the conversation. However, not as much as Kakashi had expected, most especially compared to their previous dynamic. He briefly wondered if something had gone wrong at the hospital where he knew she spent most of her time at.</p><p>Kakashi dismissed his thoughts and assumed that it wasn't a big deal. Maybe the girl had changed. He really wouldn't know since the last time he'd spoken with her had been a little more than a year ago just before Naruto left on his journey and when news of her apprenticeship to the Godaime had also been made known.</p><p>He stole a glance at the diamond that was displayed on her forehead.</p><p>A small part of him felt guilty at the admission that he had no idea about what she had been up to but he didn't know how to deal with a female. Much less one going through puberty. The girl was what—Eighteen? Or was it nineteen?</p><p>He wasn't entirely sure and he couldn't really tell from her looks. She was still pretty short and despite the slight curves that had developed with puberty, her face still held the look of a young girl.</p><p>"What about you, Sakura-chan?" The blonde turned to her, taking a pause from his bickering, "What have you been up to?"</p><p>Sakura swirled her ramen in her bowl, "Courier missions."</p><p>"Really? That sounds boring," Naruto whined, "I would have thought that Baa-chan would have you in the hospital!"</p><p>Kakashi had to agree. Although he hadn't been personally tracking her progress, he wasn't ignorant of the growing number of ninja praising his student for her healing hands. Even Genma, whose hate for the hospital rivaled his own, had been so excited after getting a small injury on a mission since it would give him an excuse to flirt with the—in the senbon-chewing nin's own words, not Kakashi's—<em>cute pinky.</em></p><p>Sakura gave Naruto a small smile, "I do work in the hospital but it's good to get out of the village every once in a while."</p><p>The blonde nodded sagely, "Oh, I totally feel you. Traveling is great!"</p><p>"You do realize that if you become Hokage you'd have to stay in the tower all the time, right?" Sasuke said incredulously as if unable to believe the amount of stupidity Naruto's head could hold.</p><p>Naruto turned back to Sasuke to continue their bickering.</p><p>Kakashi let out a sigh. Didn't those two ever get tired of arguing?</p><p>"I need to go," Sakura suddenly said, moving to stand and catching the attention of everyone at the table.</p><p>"What?" Naruto deflated, "But I'm only staying here today."</p><p>Sakura smiled at him. She raised her hand as if to pat the blonde then stopped, and then smoothly doing a small wave to hide her awkward pause. If Kakashi hadn't been observing her carefully, he would have missed it.</p><p>
  <em>Strange.</em>
</p><p>Sakura wasn't normally afraid of showing her affection to her teammates before. Be it a punch to the head or even friendly embraces with the two boys.</p><p>"Sorry, Naruto," She apologized, her voice sincere, "You actually caught me at a bad time earlier. Tsunade-sama gave me a mission and I need to leave later this afternoon."</p><p>Naruto pouted, "But Sakura-chan—"</p><p>"Next time, I'll spend the whole day with you, okay?" She said with a smile, "To make up for it, it'll be my treat today." She placed some ryo on the table, enough to pay for all of their meals and more, probably for all the extra bowls Naruto would order after she left.</p><p>This tactic proved to be effective as the blonde suddenly jumped from his seat to tackle the girl in a hug, "You're the best, Sakura-chan!"</p><p>Kakashi glanced at the amount of cash on the table and briefly wondered if chuunin were paid so much that she could throw away that kind of cash. And he briefly wondered if he should just consider getting a demotion but the scrape of another chair on the floor caught his attention and he glanced at the young Uchiha who also stood up to leave and immediately grabbed the girl by the arm before dragging her out of the restaurant, "I'll walk you home."</p><p>Kakashi was sure his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. When had those two become close? The last time he saw them together the young boy had been shunning any interaction with the girl for fear that he would encourage her romantic attentions.</p><p>Left with Naruto, who was surprisingly relaxed about the whole exchange, Kakashi decided that maybe he had the answer to that question, "What was that?"</p><p>Naruto shrugged, "I've been asking him to check on Sakura-chan."</p><p>"And you've never thought that they might get together?" He was well aware of the torch that Naruto held for the girl. It had been an amusing situation during their genin days.</p><p>"The bastard would die before he dates anyone," the younger ninja said with a snort, "It's why I asked him."</p><p>Okay. That was… surprisingly smart. Although Kakashi isn't too sure about Naruto's evaluation. Sasuke had always been surprisingly soft for Sakura and Kakashi would bet a good amount of money that if anyone were to make the Uchiha on their team decide to pursue anything romantic, it would probably be because of her.</p><p>Although right now, Sasuke was more than likely too busy to pursue any kind of relationship. He knew that the young Uchiha was training under his father at the police force, getting ready to become the successor to the much-coveted seat of Brigade Commander at the Police Force since Uchiha Itachi was doing well in the ranks.</p><p>"Want another bowl, Sensei?" He heard Naruto ask from beside him.</p><p>"Yeah, sure," Kakashi never said no to anything free after all.</p><p>-x-</p><p>Kakashi was buying takeout a few days later when he ran into Sakura again. Naruto had already left the village and Sasuke was back at his father's side.</p><p>She had been on the way home, probably from a grueling hospital shift based on the dark circles around her eyes that signified an unhealthy lack of sleep, and the glazed look in her eyes, probably from chakra depletion. It was enough for Kakashi to feel a tiny bit sorry for her and she did treat them to a lot of ramen the other day.</p><p>He sighed and turned to the shopkeeper, "Can I get another order?"</p><p>Once the two containers of food were safely in his possession, he slowly made to intercept the girl who had been walking slowly enough for him to catch up without much effort.</p><p>"Yo."</p><p>Sakura jumped, her head turning to the direction of his voice so fast that he winced when he heard her neck crack. She was breathing heavily, eyes wide as she gazed at him. Upon closer observation, the pink-haired girl looked a little worse for wear. Her short hair was a mess of tangles, the dark circles that surrounded wide green eyes made even more prominent due to the unhealthy paleness of her skin, and she was worryingly thin.</p><p>Kakashi briefly wondered if her hospitals shifts were running too long or if she had been taking double shifts.</p><p>"Sakura, are you okay?"</p><p>His voice seemed to have caught her attention, and her eyes focused on him, "You surprised me, Kakashi-sensei."</p><p>"Ah, expect the unexpected?" Kakashi jokingly told her with a hint of admonishment, actively trying to irritate the girl.</p><p>She just blinked at him before slowly nodding making him frown. But he decided to brush it off before thrusting one of the containers of food in her hands and giving her a small salute before teleporting away.</p><p>-x-</p><p>Among Kakashi's three former students, Haruno Sakura was the last person he would describe as mysterious.</p><p>From the time he met her as a newly minted genin up until a few weeks ago, he would have told anyone that would have asked that the girl was an open book. She wore her heart on her sleeve and every emotion that she felt at the time would have been displayed on her face. It was a trait that gave him mixed feelings about her suitability as a ninja.</p><p>Recently, however, the girl proved to be as unreadable as Kakashi when he actively tried.</p><p>It wasn't that she was actively putting on a blank face. That would have been too easy.</p><p>The three times that he 'coincidentally' ran into her after giving her a container of food, the girl acted somewhat normal. She gave him a small smile and cracked a joke every once in a while. But there had been this weird tension in the interaction that Kakashi wasn't even sure if it was a figment of his imagination.</p><p>Not to mention, she looked worse every time. The last time he saw her she looked like a gust of wind could blow her away.</p><p>Of course, he'd hypothesized that the subdued personality was just an effect of her exhaustion from a long day at work but a feeling in Kakashi's gut was making itself known every time he interacted with her. And for a ninja that was as infamous as him, trusting his instincts had saved him on more than one occasion.</p><p>All of these thoughts about his ex-student's strange behavior led him to the decision to seek her out. Not exactly confront her, but maybe do a little reconnaissance on what was happening in her life.</p><p>His decision had been made two days ago. Following that, he tried tracking her down but it was like the girl disappeared into thin air. Her scent stopping at her apartment, which had been empty when he dropped by.</p><p>After two days of fruitless searching, it was completely by chance when he saw Uchiha Sasuke dragging the pink-haired girl by the arm to a food stand.</p><p>"Sasuke," He heard her say tiredly from his spot at the bookstore just across the street, while she struggled to get out of his grip.</p><p>Kakashi stared at the strange scene. He was aware that Uchiha, most especially this particular Uchiha, despised any kind of physical contact unless it was related to a mission, even then the boy would absolutely make his displeasure known. Kakashi wondered whether they regularly spent time together without the company of anyone else or if this was a fluke.</p><p>Maybe Naruto should worry.</p><p>"Shut up. I'm sure you haven't eaten considering how pig-headed you're being." <em>The boy sure knew how to make a girl feel cared for.</em> Maybe Naruto shouldn't worry too much.</p><p>"I'm fine," she argued back.</p><p>She certainly didn't look fine. Even Kakashi, from his hiding place a few meters away, could see how red her eyes were, which probably resulted from a lack of sleep.</p><p>He heard Sasuke snort, "Say that when you look like you won't keel over and die."</p><p><em>Very romantic.</em> Kakashi thought dryly.</p><p>He saw Sasuke shove a plate of okonomiyaki at the girl and stared her down, making his impatience very obvious and eliciting an exasperated sigh from Sakura. He saw her give her irate companion a look before starting to eat.</p><p>Kakashi decided that it was about time to make his presence known to the two (they were bound to sense him sooner or later) and crossed the street to the stand. Apparently, his two ex-students were still pretty attuned to his presence that they automatically stiffened and turned their heads towards his direction, "Yo."</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura greeted in between chews. He saw her make a tiny movement to get closer to Sasuke, who only nodded at him in greeting and looking slightly annoyed, "Kakashi."</p><p>At least one of them got his name right. He found it endearing when two out of his three students still retained the honorific but sometimes, it felt a bit odd. He hadn't been their sensei in years and honestly, it made him feel old when a bunch of teenagers pushing twenty still called him sensei.</p><p>"Is this a date?" He teased. Subtly trying to wheedle information between the two younger ninja.</p><p>Of course he knew that this wasn't a date. Their interaction reminded Kakashi of a very intense caregiver and a somewhat resigned patient but he really wanted to know what was going on with the girl and he felt that Sasuke had an idea what.</p><p>He saw Sakura's eyes widen, panicked, as she started choking on the dish she had been consuming. He turned to Sasuke to see how the boy would react and saw him roll his eyes, before handing the girl a bottle of water.</p><p>After making sure Sakura was okay, the dark-haired boy threw him a glare, "Leave."</p><p>Kakashi blinked, "No room for your ex-sensei?"</p><p>He didn't know it was possible but the young Uchiha threw him an even more annoyed look, "Dates are for two people."</p><p>The bait was just so good, he couldn't resist, "Ah, but Sasuke, there are arrangements that will allow more—"</p><p>He heard Sakura start coughing again as she choked on the water she was drinking making Sasuke sigh before grabbing the girl's arm again and teleporting them, most likely to the other end of the village, far away from him, while muttering curses about perverted old men.</p><p>Maybe the two dating wasn't exactly surprising but Sakura and Sasuke's reaction to the whole thing was a bit suspicious. He fully expected Sakura to flaunt their new status while Sasuke remained quiet at her side, not the other way around.</p><p>"Did you just—" Kakashi turned to the server at the okonomiyaki stall, the old lady's eyes looking at him with embarrassment and is that a hint of disgust?</p><p>"No," Schooling his face into the blandest expression he can muster to scare the lady into stopping whatever she was trying to say.</p><p>The woman had more backbone in her though and soldiered on, "—proposition your students to have a threesome with you?"</p><p>-x-</p><p>It was a few days after, on a seemingly perfect day for investigating—<em>stalking</em>, his mind supplied acidly—his student, when Kakashi received summons from the Hokage.</p><p>"Hatake Kakashi," A man appeared at his window, his mask resembling that of a bird, "Report to the tower immediately. Hokage's orders."</p><p>Ah. It was <em>that</em> kind of mission.</p><p>He gave a nod to the other operative and promptly geared himself for what he expected would be another difficult and soul-crushing mission ahead. The Hokage rarely requested the presence of Team Ro but it was never a good sign. The loyalty that was required of those who partook in his team was a different sort, the kind that required them to turn a blind eye and forsake their own moralities for the sake of the village.</p><p>After checking that he had everything in order, he opened a sealed drawer at his dresser and grabbed the white mask that was rarely used nowadays.</p><p>Kakashi had done enough missions on Team Ro, both as a member and as its leader that he wasn't sure where he personally stood anymore. The good of the village was the priority every time he wore the face of Dog, its weight light but the burden that came with it quite heavy. But dogs were always loyal and that was also true of Kakashi.</p><p>Performing a quick jutsu, he found himself standing on the roof outside the Hokage's office and jumped in through the window after attaching the mask to his face. Two other members of his team were already there. The familiar weasel mask of Uchiha Itachi, and Yugao's cat mask staring at the direction of the Hokage's desk.</p><p>Kakashi turned to face their leader.</p><p>What he saw was enough to make him falter.</p><p>Standing closer to the Hokage's table wearing the same uniform as the rest of the squad was a small girl with a familiar head of pink hair that fell to her shoulders and her face wearing a mask that resembled a Fox, two ears adorned the top of the white porcelain and red lines ran down the mask until its nose with three more on each side like whiskers made of blood.</p><p>Thankfully, his own mask was enough to hide his surprise.</p><p>Was this what she was hiding?</p><p>Kakashi ran through the information that he had gathered in the last few days that he had followed the girl around the village: multiple 'courier' missions for the Hokage, the money she could spend, the exhaustion on her features, her aversion to physical touch and her withdrawn personality.</p><p>He listed them over and over again in his head. They were all familiar signs. Too familiar because they had been characteristics that he frequently saw in himself and every member of his team that had seen all the horrors on the field and was plagued with nightmares so real that he still felt he was in battle.</p><p>The next feeling that he recognized was a surprise, because Kakashi could clearly feel the bubbling rage about to spill out of him.</p><p>
  <em>What was she thinking?</em>
</p><p>He wanted to grab her and shake her until she saw reason. This wasn't her place. She was a medic, with the hands that could bring people back to life with a single touch. The bloody missions of Team Ro weren't the place for a saint like her and he'd quickly lock her up in a cell below the tower before allowing her to come with them.</p><p>He heard a feminine cough that effectively snapped him out of his quiet seething, he turned his masked face to their Hokage who spoke with impatience, "If you're ready, Dog, I would like to start."</p><p>He gave a tight nod, which made the Hokage roll her eyes at him.</p><p>"Team Ro, meet Fox," She introduced, gesturing to the girl that was the cause of Kakashi's sour mood, "You will observe during her assignment and should there be any trouble, extract her and bring her home. Strictly no interference to her mission unless things go south."</p><p>Tsunade paused and tossed him a scroll, "All the details are there but I will remind you that this mission requires <em>subtlety</em>—"</p><p>Kakashi heard the command without her having to say it. No one should be able to trace this to Konoha.</p><p>"—and normally, this requires different protocols but Fox has a specific set of skills that are too valuable to lose."</p><p>Kakashi observed that the older woman took a minute as if to distance herself from the situation, before starting again. "I do not expect any difficulty but she has been given very strict orders to avoid getting captured. <em>At all costs.</em>"</p><p>Kakashi stiffened. That only meant one thing.</p><p>She would either go back to Konoha or she would not go anywhere else <em>alive</em>.</p><p>"Understood?"</p><p>A chorus of affirmations resounded in the room.</p><p>"You leave immediately but Dog," The Hokage eyed him, "Stay in the room. I need to speak to you."</p><p>The rest of Team Ro and Fox disappeared from the room without a word. They knew where to meet, it was standard protocol.</p><p>"Dog, remove the mask."</p><p>Kakashi hesitated. He wasn't sure he'd be able to control his temper if he took it off but it was obviously an order, not a request. He grit his teeth and detached the porcelain from his face, doing his best to display a look of impassivity.</p><p>"You have questions," The Hokage said calmly while pouring herself a glass of sake and sipped. Kakashi wanted to wrinkle his nose at the scent. It was the strong kind.</p><p>He had a lot of questions but he wasn't sure which one to ask. He settled for the first one in his mind, "When?"</p><p>"Ah, when did she join?" Tsunade drawled, as if this conversation was such a burden to her, "Officially about six months ago."</p><p>Six months? That meant she'd already been initiated formally into the ranks. It was enough time for her to complete the evaluation period if she regularly took missions.</p><p>Kakashi opened his mouth again, "She's not a good fit."</p><p>"That's not what my ANBU commander said," Tsunade snorted, "According to him, she's too good a fit after he asked why she only joined now."</p><p>Kakashi felt the oncoming headache forming behind his eyes, "How many? Specialization?"</p><p>He hoped against all hope that she was one of the highly-coveted medics in ANBU. Rare because medics usually lacked the combat skills needed for the rank but Sakura would most likely be the exception due to her training with the Godaime. That sounded plausible and there have been cases in ANBU when a medic would be assigned to a team.</p><p>Kakashi didn't really want to acknowledge that his kind and soft-hearted Haruno Sakura was good at killing.</p><p>He hadn't read the scroll that the Hokage had given him yet but he already knew he wouldn't like whatever was written there. Shinobi in their ranks were rarely sent on solos—they usually went to him or Uchiha Itachi—and based on the mission directives that their leader had given Team Ro, this was a solo mission meant for Fox. Team Ro was just there for damage control.</p><p>Tsunade gave him an almost amused look, "You're usually more eloquent than this. 45 missions, assassination and sabotage."</p><p>Kakashi heard himself make a strangled sound.</p><p>More than two missions a week on average. That was frequent enough that he should have been rotated with her but the specialization itself explained that most of those missions were with one partner or by herself.</p><p>"Calm down, Hatake," Tsunade admonished, "If your feelings are going to get in the way, you're not going on this mission."</p><p>Kakashi bit his tongue. Another question almost escaping him.</p><p>
  <em>Why did you turn her into a murderer?</em>
</p><p>"Why—" He struggled to voice the question, trying to make it sound as diplomatic as possible, "She's a medic, how?"</p><p>Tsunade reclined on her chair, her face looking tired and closer to her real age even through the illusion that she had running, "You'll see soon enough."</p><p>No, Kakashi didn't see and he also didn't understand. Haruno Sakura was bright and kind and innocent if not a bit temperamental. She didn't belong in this world, where monsters disguised as humans made a living off of death, "What?"</p><p>"That medics make the best killers."</p><p>-x-</p><p>They were camping outside the small town where Fox's target resided. The travel to the area took most of the morning and the better part of the afternoon. It was almost nightfall, and travelers were common enough in the area that it was safe enough to start a fire.</p><p>Kakashi sat near the flames with the two other members of Team Ro, who were sharpening their weapons quietly. This was normal, they had never been a talkative team. He glanced at their companion who had taken a seat at a nearby tree trunk, just close enough to hear should they call her but far enough for them to understand that she'd prefer not to talk.</p><p>But Kakashi had been in this business long enough not to care so he called, "Fox."</p><p>He saw the masked face move to turn to him, signaling that he had her attention. He briefly wondered why Sakura had been assigned the face of a fox. Kakashi's own moniker of dog had been a reflection of his own skills in tracking and a slight allusion to his summons.</p><p>He turned back his attention to the bright green eyes behind the porcelain mask forcing him to acknowledge the reality of the situation and even with it on he could see the exhaustion that made itself known through the red that surrounded her irises.</p><p>"Fox," He called once more but the other ninja only gave him a small nod of acknowledgement.</p><p>He wanted to hear her, to prove to him even further that she was really there, "Are you already aware of the mission specifics?"</p><p>The girl nodded again.</p><p>Kakashi almost growled.</p><p>He wanted her to talk, to speak and prove that she hasn't turned into a ninja that survived on bloody orders and broken bodies… but he wasn't Kakashi here. He was Dog, the leader of Team Ro, and he told the Hokage that he wouldn't let his personal feelings cloud his judgement here, especially since he knew that failure would end up with her killed by an enemy or even herself, "How long do you need?"</p><p>"An hour at most," Her voice answered, it was rough from disuse. She had not uttered a single word since their departure from Konoha.</p><p>An hour? Kakashi didn't want to doubt her skills that even the Hokage herself believed more than sufficient for this but an hour was quick for what the mission demanded. She wasn't coming after some low level ninja.</p><p>Her target was Matsunaga Keiichi, one of their own ANBU operatives who had defected to live quietly with his wife and child at a small obscure town. It wouldn't have been an issue if the man hadn't held a position that allowed him to know vital village secrets with a doujutsu to boot, and his wife, a former resident of Kumo, hadn't been a relative of the Daimyo of Lightning country.</p><p>The mission was to send him a subtle but bloody message to come back without his wife. After the Hyuuga Affair, the Council absolutely refused to accept anyone from Kumogakure. Should his wife decide to come with him back to Konoha, she would be killed without warning.</p><p>The sensitivity of the mission and its possible effect on village relations entailed that this would not be traced back to the village. If found out, Kumogakure would have an excuse to demand for another exchange and it was no secret to anyone what they wanted. The Hyuuga would have the Hokage's head on a platter if they gave up another member.</p><p>Everyone knew what the mission entailed. Kill the wife and tell the husband to return or there would be <em>consequences</em>.</p><p>He pinched a lock of pink hair that fell above her shoulder and frowned behind his mask when the girl smothered a flinch at the touch, making him let go, "Won't you need to hide this?"</p><p>"No one will remember," She said ominously.</p><p>Kakashi was about to argue back when she suddenly turned and glanced at the sky that had already turned dark, "We should go," She murmured before jumping off in the direction of the town.</p><p>He signaled the other members of his team to follow the girl quietly with their chakras masked to ensure stealth. It wouldn't do to alert the former ANBU Operative of their presence.</p><p>They stopped at a small house located on a particularly secluded part of the town. The home had a flower garden just outside the closed door that led to, from what they could see through an open window, a kitchen inhabited by a short woman with long blonde hair that was braided over her shoulder.</p><p>Jumping on a branch of a large tree and peering through another window, a brown-haired man sat comfortably on a couch reading a book. Before leaving Konoha, Keiichi Matsunaga was reported to be light-haired with dark eyes. The man was smart enough to change his features but no one could change their chakra signature and another team specialized in tracking had found him.</p><p>"Suzuki-san will be coming in a bit, dear," They heard the woman call from the kitchen, "Could you take care of Kenji if he wakes up? He's in the bedroom."</p><p>From his seat on the couch, the man hummed to signal that he had heard her, "Yes, of course."</p><p>Kakashi stiffened. A visitor could become a complication should she discover their presence. He glanced at Fox only to see that this didn't seem to faze her at all. She calmly moved to retrieve two kunai from her pouch and Kakashi's eyes widened at the seal attached to the weapon.</p><p>
  <em>Hiraishin.</em>
</p><p>Before he could voice out the words that had become a lump in his throat, she handed him one of the weapons and threw the other at the open window to land in the room occupied by the man, embedding itself on the floor. The thud was quiet enough not to alert the wife in the kitchen but Keiichi suddenly stood up on high alert, his book forgotten.</p><p>With a quick burst of chakra, Fox appeared in the room.</p><p>He could see the brown-haired man tense, his nails starting to lengthen and his teeth elongated to resemble fangs. This had been the man's blood line. Closely related to the Inuzuka clan, his physical body could transform to resemble an animal with enough chakra manipulation and gave him the abilities of a wild beast. It had allowed him to survive ANBU long enough to escape the organization and the village itself.</p><p>Kakashi tensed, already preparing to go in, once the man attacked. He could feel his two subordinates beside him ready themselves to engage in battle as well.</p><p>He saw Keiichi lunge at Fox, who side stepped to avoid his claws, her open hand raised with no weapon but glowing green, to touch the man on his arm. When her fingers connected Kakashi released a breath that he wasn't aware he had been holding the man suddenly went limp in the small girl's arms, his eyes closed and dead to the world. Asleep, probably sedated.</p><p>She grabbed the sealed kunai on the floor before her features morphing into the tall brown-haired man that she left unconscious on the floor and exited the room through a door that lead to the kitchen. The woman they saw earlier had her back to Fox while she waited for the kettle in the sink to fill.</p><p>Fox raised one of her hands and touched the woman's back and Team Ro watched through the window as her brown eyes rolled to the back of her head before passing out. Fox caught her and laid her down on the floor before grabbing another item from her pouch.</p><p>A coil of rope.</p><p>Kakashi felt his breath hitch in his throat while the two beside him stiffen.</p><p>Fox worked quietly, still using the face of the woman's husband, as she placed a chair in the middle of the room and hung the rope on a low beam with a tight knot and gave a few tugs to check its sturdiness. She let it unravel before looping the end.</p><p>For someone with Kakashi's past, this felt like a horror show. Memories of his father flashing through his head despite having already made peace with his death. It wasn't the same situation at all but he couldn't stop his mind from betraying him.</p><p>Fox turned her attention back to the woman on the floor and placed her glowing hands on her temples again, they watched as the blonde-haired female slowly stood up, her eyes glazed with a faraway look.</p><p>
  <em>Genjutsu.</em>
</p><p>They heard the rustle of grass. The members of Team Ro turned to the end of a pathway. At the edge of the garden, a woman stood with a jar in her hands.</p><p>Kakashi felt his adrenaline go up as he worked to silence his own breathing, which he noticed had turned heavy and quick and forcefully returned him to the present. He considered extracting Fox regardless if the mission was done or not but before he could decide, the glowing hands stopped and the girl quickly made her way back to the other room after grabbing the three knives that were in the sink and quietly placing them in a drawer at the corner of the room.</p><p>Kakashi and the two other members of Team Ro watched, the feeling of morbid curiosity hanging in the air around them, much like the noose in the middle of the kitchen where Fox left her victim in.</p><p>The woman started slowly moving as if hypnotized, climbing the chair and raised her arms and moving forward as if reaching for something, her head going through the loop in the rope.</p><p>Team Ro tensed but Kakashi was sure that none of them could turn their eyes away from the scene.</p><p>The visitor, the woman named Suzuki, knocked on the front door but the woman inside didn't notice.</p><p>The whole scene played as if it was in slow motion.</p><p>Suzuki opened the door with a push, the same time the light-haired woman on the chair leaned far enough that she tipped it off balance causing it to fall and make a loud crash that resounded through the entire household.</p><p>Suzuki screamed, "Aika-san!"</p><p>The dark-haired woman rushed to grab at the woman's legs to stop her weight from dragging her down further but Kakashi and his team knew that the damage had already been done. Gravity was quicker than a civilian and the rope had already tightened around her neck, slowly choking the life out of the woman as she struggled to grasp at the noose when the pain snapped her out of the illusion.</p><p>Fox slammed the door open, eyes wide and frantic. Perfectly playing the role of a panicked husband.</p><p>"Keiichi-san, help!" Suzuki begged, tears already streaming down her face, as Fox ran to grab at the woman's legs.</p><p>"Call a doctor!" Fox shouted, her voice deep as the real Keiichi, and watched her leave the house</p><p>Team Ro listened as the woman ran down the path while shouting for help because Aika had hung herself and that they needed a doctor. Kakashi realized Fox's intentions, Suzuki was the evidence.</p><p>He turned back his attention to the scene inside the home as Fox let go of woman's legs and watched as Aika Matsunaga gave one last struggle to free her neck from the rope and slowly going limp like all the life had been sucked out of her.</p><p>It was done.</p><p>Leaving the body hanging in the middle of the room, she made her way back to Keiichi and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up to his wife's body. Propping him up on Aika's legs, she laced his fingers together to grasp around them and let them support his weight.</p><p>Another burst of chakra, and she stood beside Team Ro.</p><p>"Mission complete," She tilted her head towards the house, and they watched as Keiichi came to. Very disoriented but upon seeing the legs in his arms, started crying and calling for his wife, eyes glancing around the room while looking for the anything sharp to cut her down from her final resting place.</p><p>Fox looked on. Green eyes glowing behind the mask, the red around them making them look vile and cruel.</p><p>Kakashi knew the meaning of her mask now and it wasn't an animal like the rest of them.</p><p>
  <em>The cunning youkai that was known for illusions and trickery who consumed the bodies and spirits of its victims.</em>
</p><p>-x-</p><p>He had no idea what to say. He didn't even know what to think. Yugao and Itachi had been quiet the entire mission, like they weren't even there with them, and Sakura was silent as the grave after they left the small town.</p><p>No one said a word until they appeared in front of the Hokage and Kakashi had to give his report while Sakura remained silent, recognizing that the highest-ranking officer in the team went first.</p><p>Kakashi watched Tsunade turn to Sakura after his report, "Method?"</p><p>"Stimulated the brain to manipulate hormone output. Simulated severe depression in brain activity. Genjutsu. Suicide." She recounted, her voice taking on a detached tone.</p><p>"No traces of your chakra?"</p><p>"None." She confirmed.</p><p>"The husband?"</p><p>"Memories have been altered to exclude our presence but a message has been left for him. Would you like to see?"</p><p>Tsunade nodded, "Through simple genjutsu, leave out the texture," She gestured to the other inhabitants of the room, "Include them."</p><p>Sakura nodded and without a single handsign, Kakashi watched as the entire room shifted to the scene of their recently concluded mission but his—Keiichi's—vision focused on a book in his hands.</p><p>A scream, "Aika-san!"</p><p>And the view suddenly shifted as if the owner of the eyes stood up in a hurry to run to the source of the noise. Kakashi felt his own adrenaline shoot up but the feeling of dread seeped through his body when another scene entered his vision.</p><p>A familiar kitchen and a familiar woman hanging from the rope tied to one of the beams of the home. Another familiar woman, Suzuki-san, supporting her legs desperately to prevent her weight from tightening the rope around her neck even further.</p><p>"Keiichi-san, help!"</p><p>They watched as the vision shifted again, the owner of the eyes running to grab at his wife's legs while frantically looking around the room for a knife to cut her down, while shouting at Suzuki with a voice so rough it was unrecognizable, "Call a doctor!"</p><p>The vision featured Suzuki run out the door to call for help.</p><p>"Aika—" The voice pleaded brokenly, "Please—please stay with me—" As his vision searched the area for a knife before glancing at the rope contemplating to just pull at it.</p><p>"Go back—to your village—" She wheezed out, the tightness around her neck slowly choking her.</p><p>"No—no<em>no</em>no" Desperation lacing every word, he growled in frustration and Kakashi felt the sting it caused in his own throat.</p><p>The woman wheezed, "You have to—we need to keep—Kenji safe fro—They'll get him too—A week to go back—" The legs in his arms slowly growing heavier with every word.</p><p>Kakashi almost flinched when Keiichi roared in anguish and a sharp pain, the same as earlier, returned. He wondered if his own vocal chords had been damaged.</p><p>The room shifted back, returning Kakashi to the Hokage's office, where the tension was thick and the silence deafening.</p><p>The desperation of Keiichi Matsunaga still running through his veins, and his own trauma in relation to suicide made itself known through several flashbacks only he could see. Glancing at the two other members of Team Ro, he noticed that Yugao had been panting heavily behind him, while Uchiha Itachi was stiff as a board.</p><p>It was the Hokage that broke it, "I told you to leave out the texture," She said, mildly irritated.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Fox apologized, "It will not happen again."</p><p>Tsunade nodded with a huff, "You're all dismissed."</p><p>With his own past going through his mind like a morbid film, Kakashi was more than happy to leave and wallow on his own, but just as everyone was about to disappear from the room, Tsunade said as if just remembering, "Oh and Fox, congratulations on reaching a hundred."</p><p>-x-</p><p>"Since you also need to report, I suggest that you all join me inside," Kakashi heard Fox speak through the open window.</p><p>"Stealth required?" Kakashi heard Yugao inquire.</p><p>Fox shook her head, "Unnecessary."</p><p>They were back at the Matsunaga residence, a week after the previous mission. He hadn't seen Sakura at all during the short break and he didn't really try to find her as he was too busy dealing with his own issues that had returned with a vengeance due to the previous mission that hit closer to home than he'd care to admit.</p><p>As they were briefed earlier that day at the office of the Hokage, Kakashi realized that Tsunade knew that Keiichi Matsunaga had no intention to come back regardless of his wife's death.</p><p>And he realized two things.</p><p>This was simply a test.</p><p>And that their Hokage was a medic too. A medic that had survived a war so bloody that even now the sight of the red liquid paralyzed their leader.</p><p>
  <em>Medics make the best killers.</em>
</p><p>They climbed through the window that entered the living room and stayed beside it for an easy escape. Fox stood only a step away, standing by the wall. What was once a warm and neat home before had become a pigsty. The entire room was dark, bottles of alcohol and containers of food strewn all over the floor. Keiichi Matsunaga, lay unconscious on the couch in the middle of the room where he had been reading a week before. Before his entire life fell apart with the staged suicide of his wife.</p><p>An urn sat on the table in front of him and a sliver of guilt ran through Kakashi's body when his eyes caught the marble.</p><p>"What will you do about the boy?" Itachi asked quietly, referring to the child that was asleep in the bedroom behind another door. The son, a boy named Kenji, who had just turned four a couple of months ago.</p><p>Fox turned to him, voice completely void of any emotion, "I was ordered to get rid of him. The doujutsu must be kept within the village."</p><p>Even if Kakashi agreed with the assessment, his chest hurt at the thought of killing a young child. He had done it before, upon the request of the village, and ever since his nightmares were plagued by a small body with dead eyes. If they chose to smuggle the child into Konoha, the boy would be killed and if not, he would grow up hating the village he lived in.</p><p>The village would not pay to keep a pet that would bite the hand of its owner.</p><p>"I'll be saturating the room with chakra," Fox told them, "You might see the image of the genjutsu but considering you're not the intended target for it, it will be faint." A warning.</p><p>Her fingers twisted to form a handsign and soon enough the entire room glowed pale green with a familiar warm chakra, pulsing as if it was a living being. They watched as Keiichi opened his eyes and suddenly stood up, like a man that had been revived from death.</p><p>An image appeared before the man, a non-descript male with brown hair behind a plain white porcelain mask who asked one more time if he would return willingly.</p><p>"I'm never going back!" He angrily shouted as if possessed, "You killed my wife!"</p><p>Itachi tensed from beside him waiting for the man to attack.</p><p>"He can't see you," Fox said.</p><p>Kakashi flinched at the scent that permeated the air. Fear and rage.</p><p>And it was all coming from the man that was still talking to the image conjured by Fox.</p><p>The image of the hunter-nin disappeared and suddenly, a woman appeared in the room. Blonde hair braided down the side of her shoulder, her eyes the exact same shade of brown but dead. Her skin so pale that it was already gray and her head bent at such an uncomfortable angle to the side that it could have only been broken.</p><p>With a growl, Keiichi's own hands turned into claws and teeth into fangs, "Don't come near me! You're not her!"</p><p>They all watched as the woman approached the man, going through small table in front of the couch like a ghost and Keiichi suddenly attacked the piece of furniture, breaking it into pieces, the urn of his wife smashed on a bookshelf at the wall opposite him, her ashes falling like dust.</p><p>"Go away!" The former Konoha ninja roared as he charged at the shelf, the pieces of broken wood falling to the ground, paper and ashes flying in the air with each of his movements.</p><p>The man fell to his knees and spoke and spoke his voice more broken than ever, "What have they done to you?"</p><p>"Papa?" Team Ro stiffened as the small boy with the light yellow hair entered the room. Kakashi watch Fox's eyes shift to the boy, green and calculating.</p><p>Keiichi turned his head at the voice.</p><p>"Papa?" The boy saw the members of his team at the other end of the room, "Who?"</p><p>"Shut up!" Keiichi roared at the young child, the animalistic rage more pronounced than ever, and before Keiichi could pounce on the boy, Kakashi had seen it. The small wisp of an image on the young child. The same visage his dead wife held that Fox had created to haunt him.</p><p>"No—Not you too—" The man cried.</p><p>The boy looked at him, frightened and shaking, "Pa—"</p><p>"You're not my son! Don't you dare call me that!"</p><p>Keichi jumped on the child, claws extended and his face twisted in a snarl.</p><p>Kakashi heard Yugao take in a ragged breath as Keiichi slashed his clawed hand at the boy and it took every bit of Kakashi's own self-control to stop himself from trembling at the sight. From the corner of his eye, he saw Itachi made a move as if to intercept but stopped himself with a twitch.</p><p>They watched as the man drop the body of the boy to the floor and turned his head to side. Grabbing his midsection and started coughing. And then, vomiting. Yellow bile flowed out of his mouth, the stench of the liquid encompassing the entire room, overpowering the heightened smell of fear.</p><p>He turned to Fox in question.</p><p>"Alcohol poisoning," She responded.</p><p>The man continued to vomit until the bile turned slightly red and everyone in the room knew that this wasn't from the alcohol anymore. The room was still pulsing with green chakra, as if it was a being all on its own that was slowly killing the man who had slumped to the to his knees.</p><p>Keiichi trembled, only slight at first and they watched as it slowly increased in severity. His body shaking as the man panted heavily, as if choking. All the while, trying to hack out whatever was still inside his body.</p><p>Fox spoke, "Seizures and most likely, brain damage."</p><p>And then he stopped.</p><p>"We're done here," Fox said before she moved her fingers, and the entire room grew dark once more, all traces of chakra gone.</p><p>-x-</p><p>Kakashi completed his report before the Hokage and the woman held a look that was a mix between distaste and satisfaction.</p><p>"It's effective?" She asked Fox.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Child abuse caused by Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder on the father is a good cover," Tsunade commented with a hint of a frown, "But really alcohol poisoning?" She said, sardonically eyeing the bottle of sake in front of her.</p><p>"The situation presented itself."</p><p>The Hokage made an indiscernible noise, "You're dismissed," Fox disappeared.</p><p>She turned her attention to Team Ro, who bowed their heads in respect.</p><p>"I suppose I owe you all an explanation," The Hokage stopped as if thinking it over, "Or not really but you'll have a vital role in the plan, so I might as well brief you now."</p><p>"Fox has been working on a technique that will allow the manipulation of the mind through control of neural activity and hormone production," The Hokage explained, "These past two missions are a good enough indicator of what it can do. Based on our discussions, she's managed to simulate disorders by stimulating the brain waves and hormonal output, making the victims more susceptible to suggestions made through genjutsu."</p><p>Tsunade continued, mouths pressed together in a grim line, "Three months from now you will be accompanying Fox for an assault on a small bandit town at the border of the Land of Fire and the Land of Water."</p><p>He was familiar with this town. It was pretty small in comparison to Konoha but it housed enough missing-nin for it to be dangerous. If the town allied itself to Mist, it would give them a good vantage point for an assault and allow them encroach on Fire Country.</p><p>"You'll be there as back-up. Mostly to make sure that Fox will be brought back."</p><p>Kakashi asked, "It's a solo?"</p><p>"Technically, yes," Tsunade nodded, "Her skills are perfect for the assignment and no one can know that Konoha is responsible. Your squad's skills are recognizable and leave marks that are too distinct. People will ask questions that no one will have the answers to and they will speculate. What other village would leave burns from lightning and fire? Only Cat would be subtle and I doubt you two would be able to deal enough damage all at once with a limited repertoire."</p><p>If it came to public knowledge that Konoha initiated the annihilation of a small town, it could possibly start a war, especially since no signs of aggression to the Hidden Leaf occurred but the Hokage wasn't going to let that small town turn into a problem for her to worry about in the future.</p><p>"We've already agreed on what to do," She explained, "She'll be staging a massacre through several inhabitants of the town. They have enough shady characters there that people won't be too surprised."</p><p>"She can do this on a massive scale?" It was Weasel who spoke, skepticism very evident in his tone.</p><p>Kakashi couldn't blame him. The implications of what the jutsu could do were dangerous and his own disbelief was still clouding his mind. If this technique was what the Hokage explained, it was the closest thing to a mind control jutsu that he'd heard of, and it was very reminiscent of a Sharingan technique with its utilization of genjutsu.</p><p>"Yes," Tsunade said, with a hint annoyance at the doubt that they were casting on her student, "It's only limited by the amount of chakra she has, but that shouldn't be a problem," She said as she tapped the seal on her forehead, reminding everyone in the room that her apprentice had the same seal on her person</p><p>Cat asked, "Won't you be able to recreate the same effect, Hokage-sama?"</p><p>"As much as I appreciate your faith in me, but a year in and that girl has already far exceeded whatever limitations I thought existed for medical ninjutsu," The Hokage said with a sigh, "When her specialization came up, I expected her to throw cardiac arrests all over the place—Hell, she probably knows over a hundred ways to dismantle a human body but she decided to come up with this."</p><p>Silence reigned over the office as everyone let that sink in. No one, not even the Hokage herself who was known to be the greatest medical ninja in the five shinobi nations, knew that her teachings would turn into such an effective weapon.</p><p>The words of Tsunade echoed in Kakashi's mind.</p><p>
  <em>Medics make the best killers.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's my first time posting any work on this site. I usually post on FFN and this story is up there as well.</p><p>I really want to get this idea out there. We need more stories with strong female characters! Although this was all from Kakashi's perspective, I'm considering writing a few chapters in Itachi's and Sasuke's. Possibly even Sakura's but I kind of wanted the story to focus on how they dealt with having to stand in the sidelines while another person took all the burden.</p><p>Naruto is a challenge to write though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Living in the Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Hello! Thank you everyone for your reviews. I really do appreciate them very much.</p><p>Disclaimer/Warnings: I don't own Naruto. Also, heavy depictions of suicide, implied signs of addiction and violence for this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day was too perfect.</p><p>He got up early, his mother prepared his favorite dish, the weather was great—Sasuke hated the rain—and his father gave him a day off, which was a pleasant surprise considering how much of a slave driver Uchiha Fugaku was with his ridiculously high expectations for his children but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.</p><p>All in all, he was in a good mood so he decided that he had the energy and the patience to deal with one of his surprisingly more difficult teammates today. He walked in the direction of her apartment with a bento in his hand from his mother who all but gushed when she found out that he'll visit Sakura and that he should bring her to eat because, "Sasuke-chan, she hasn't been looking too well.".</p><p>As much as he'd rather not bring anything with him, he had to agree with his mother's assessment. He can already guess how much sicklier she would look and how she would say she was fine when she looked like she hadn't slept in a week.</p><p>Sasuke frowned.</p><p>Honestly, between his two teammates, he would never have guessed that it would be Haruno Sakura who would want to make Sasuke pull his hair out. Naruto was a very close second but while Naruto actively tried to irritate him, Sakura definitely knew how to make herself annoying without even meaning to.</p><p>He would never say it out loud but he would <em>almost</em> prefer her infatuation with him when they were younger over this crap she's pulling right now. It wasn't that hard of a choice, really. At least obsessed Sakura listened to him and bothered to take care of herself.</p><p>Sasuke stopped in front of the aforementioned girl's apartment unit and knocked on her door.</p><p>No answer.</p><p>So he knocked again. He knew she was inside, he could feel her frustratingly dim chakra from outside the door. It wouldn't have been the first time that he'd find her completely drained from a bad day at the hospital. He knew the day was too perfect to go without a hitch.</p><p>Mentally preparing himself for the headache that he knew would come with having to deal with his female teammate, he bent down to lift the doormat to retrieve the key that the girl left there for emergencies. He'd give her crap about it later because, really, who kept their keys at such an obvious place. Leaving his shoes by the door, he entered her apartment, already used to how dark it usually is and placed the bento on a counter in the small kitchen.</p><p>He made his way to her bedroom door. Not really expecting her to answer in the catatonic state she was most likely in, he decided to just go in without knocking and—</p><p>"What the fuck, Sakura!?"</p><p>Alarmed, Sasuke slammed the door open, making the entire room shake from the force but he couldn't care less if he disturbed any of her neighbors, because in the middle of her bed was the pink-haired girl in a pool of her own blood.</p><p>He was beside her in less than a second, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, "What the fuck did you do!?"</p><p>He checked her pulse. It was there but it was so <em>weak.</em> Sasuke grabbed her face, her eyes were wide open but they were unfocused, the usual vivid green orbs were glassy and her pupils were blown so wide that the green was barely even there.</p><p>He didn't know what to do. Where was all the blood coming from? He didn't even know any fucking medical ninjutsu. <em>Shit.</em></p><p>He was panicking and somewhere in the back of his mind he could already feel the look of disapproval his father was giving him but could his dad really blamed him when his teammate decided it was okay to bleed all over the goddamned place.</p><p>"Fuck<em>fuck</em>fuck Sakura!?" He grabbed her shoulder, trying to give her a gentle shake to no effect, "Goddammit, Sakura!?" Every shake getting even more frantic.</p><p>Slowly, as if in a trance, her head turned to him. Green eyes still incredibly unfocused and whispered, "Sasuke?"</p><p>Sasuke was <em>almost</em> relieved. He would have been, but there was still so much blood on her bed that should have been <em>inside</em> her body.</p><p>"I'm bringing you to the hospital," He made a grab for her, making the girl try to roll away in reflex but she was sluggish. She was already in his arms when she blinked at the mess on her bed, "Huh?"</p><p>"We're going to the hospital because you—" He grit his teeth in frustration, "—are going to bleed to fucking <em>death</em>!"</p><p>"I'm… fine?"</p><p>"It doesn't look like you're fucking fine, Sakura!" He roared, not even trying to repress the unadulterated rage he was feeling. Contrary to what the current situation was showing, Sasuke wasn't really fond of cursing but Sakura was really,<em> really</em>, really, annoying.</p><p>Sakura blinked again and her eyes focused on him slightly. She glanced back at all the blood that had soaked through the cotton on her bed and let out a tired groan, "We don't have to. I'll heal it myself if you put me down."</p><p>"Do it," His own voice was still taut with anger, "Do it now. Then you are going to fucking explain to me just what the hell happened to you!"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," She waved dismissively. Before grabbing the edges of the shirt she was wearing and lifting the fabric over her head. Her nonchalance at the whole thing only made him seethe even more.</p><p>
  <em>Idiot. Stupid fucking annoying moron.</em>
</p><p>If he wasn't so angry, Uchiha Sasuke would have been embarrassed at the fact that the girl was so willing to take off her clothes in front of him but what underwear she was wearing didn't even register in his head because of the huge and very deep slice running down her side. He could already feel himself the curse on his tongue before he even said it, "Sakura, what the actual fuck!?"</p><p>The girl just looked up at him, ignoring his wrath and with a tinge of pink on her cheeks, timidly asked, "Could you—could you give me some chakra?"</p><p>The fact that her embarrassment was winning over her impulse to heal herself had given him pause and made Sasuke stare at her like she had three heads with unconcealed incredulity. As if sensing his disbelief, the girl turned her head to the side and pouted, "I don't like sharing chakra. It feels too intimate."</p><p>Despite his anger, Sasuke actually snorted and with the most withering glare he had in his arsenal said, "You're topless in bed with only a teenage boy in the room and you're saying that sharing chakra is <em>too</em> intimate?"</p><p>Before she could even open her mouth to answer, he grabbed her hands and slowly redirected his chakra to the linked appendages and watched their hands slowly glow a light blue.</p><p>He felt the slight pull at his energy and watched as the wound slowly stitched itself back up. Watching Sakura heal was always a mesmirizing experience and he watched his own chakra trail the last open bits of the cut and seal it close only leaving a trail of blood on unblemished pale skin. Slowly, he lifted his hand to touch the place where the slice was before and the feeling of her bare skin snapped him out of his stupor when he realized, that he due to his state of panic earlier. he had completely overlooked the fact that she was half-naked in only her underwear.</p><p>"Sakura," He said quietly.</p><p>She moved her head to look at his face, "Yes?"</p><p>"Put a shirt on," He growled.</p><p>The girl blinked, "Right," She motioned to grab the shirt that she tossed to the side, completely ignoring Sasuke's returning irritation at her lack of concern over her nudity and the fact that it was soaked through with blood.</p><p>As she made the movement to reach for the shirt that fell on the floor, Sasuke's eyes snapped onto her bicep, "Sakura," Sasuke gnashed his teeth and grab her right arm, "What is this!?"</p><p>He watched the pink-haired girl glance to her arm, where a swirl of black stood prominently against her skin. Her face suddenly took on a blank look and with a flat voice she said, "It's nothing,"</p><p>"Sakura—Fucking really!?" Sasuke knew what an ANBU tattoo looked like. He'd seen the one on his older brother enough times to be familiar with it, and he also knew how messed up Itachi was to know the burden that it came with.</p><p>But while Itachi had the reputation of a genius that was born to a shinobi clan, Sakura was a civilian-born medic. Yes, a medic that was trained by the Hokage herself but he doubted that it would be enough to let her survive the high-risk missions that ANBU entailed. Sakura didn't belong in that kind of life. Not to mention that every ninja he knew who'd gone down that route wasn't the best example of a sound mind with good moral character.</p><p>She was too good for this. Too… <em>Sakura.</em></p><p>The girl gave him a look that indicated she was running out of patience and already in the early stages of a temper tantrum, "Do you want me to put a shirt on or not?"</p><p>Sasuke let go of her arm but the frustration was already back in full force and he was sure that if Sakura continued to bullshit her way through this conversation that he was going to make sure they were going to <em>have</em>, he's going to end up killing her himself.</p><p>He turned and rummaged through her dresser and pulled out one of his own black shirts that she pilfered from him some time ago and proceeded to throw it into her face with a little more strength than necessary. Yes, he knew it was extremely petty but man, it felt <em>good</em>.</p><p>"Is this why you've been acting weird?" He asked, trying to reign in his temper because a conversation between two very angry people wasn't conducive to anything.</p><p>Fully-clothed now, Sakura frowned, "Have I?"</p><p>"Yes, you're being distant," He'd seen enough of her politely refusing to go on lunches with her friends for one reason or another, flinching when someone tried to touch her, and the frequent times she's spaced out in the middle of a conversation only to say goodbye after getting caught.</p><p>Sakura looked at him dryly, "Coming from you, that's pretty rich."</p><p>He glared, "Don't change the subject."</p><p>She ran a hand through her pink locks with a sigh, "It's not like I can quit now. I've been in there for months now."</p><p>Sasuke hated that she was right. Nobody really stopped being ANBU. <em>Unless they were dead.</em></p><p>The thought made his blood turn to ice and the dread ran through his veins, "Come see me."</p><p>She blinked, confusion clear on her face, "What?"</p><p>"After every mission, you need to come see me," Even he was surprised at his request but he needed to see for himself that she would be okay and that she was still alive. What if she decided to pull the same crap she did today? He inwardly grimaced at the thought of what could have happened had he not visited.</p><p>After giving him a strange look that made Sasuke feel like she knew what he was thinking, she finally agreed with a small smile on her lips, "All right. I'll come see you. I would've been fine, Sasuke. Okay?"</p><p>"Why didn't you heal the cut?"</p><p>Sakura shrugged, "I was out of chakra. I used most of it for the poison," He knew she was lying. Sakura was the Godaime's apprentice and poison was nothing to her. He was there for her training with Tsunade when the slug-sannin had her sadistic fun poisoning the girl so she could learn to make the antidote herself with—according to crazy old lady—good motivation.</p><p>Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "<em>Sakura</em>."</p><p>The pink-haired girl on the bed sighed, "All right, fine. I was kind of butchered," She said with resignation, "Most of the injuries were healed anyway so it shouldn't matter, right?" She added with fake brightness, looking at him as if seeking approval.</p><p>Sasuke glared at her. He absolutely refused give her any kind of affirmation right now, "I thought Tsunade had you learn one of her techniques for that." Briefly remembering a time Sakura excitedly told them something about a fast healing technique her mentor had created.</p><p>"Ah," She said, she turned to gaze at the blood on her sheets, "I try to avoid using that if I can. Takes too much chakra."</p><p>-x-</p><p>Sakura kept her promise.</p><p>Every time she came home from a mission, she went straight to Sasuke after her debrief with the Hokage.</p><p>He was surprised and a bit worried at the frequency of her missions but at the same time, he realized that this was most he'd seen of Sakura ever since Team 7 went their separate ways (on paper at least). The pink-haired girl was surprisingly adept at finding him at random times of the day, sometimes bringing him lunch at the Police Force or sitting at the window sill in his room.</p><p>Despite looking perpetually exhausted, Sakura seemed a bit better on the emotional front at least. She was still pretty reserved compared to her demeanor during their childhood, but she gave small smiles and sometimes teased him about one thing or another.</p><p>She never told him about any of her missions though, and he didn't really ask anyway. He knew they were classified but he felt like she didn't really want to talk about it either. So it had been a big surprise when he realized that he had been the one who would talk about his day, about what his father had griped on about, about what stupid thing happened with the Police Force trainees.</p><p>She went a full two months without going home in a mess and Sasuke was beginning to wonder if she'd been healing herself before going to see him or if her job description in the organization didn't require direct confrontation. That gave him some peace of mind, at least.</p><p>He almost convinced himself too.</p><p>It was another day that went without a hitch. That is until Sakura stumbled through his window in the middle of the night, covered in blood, and immediately collapsed on his bedroom floor.</p><p>Sasuke barely contained his panic.</p><p>He had been preparing himself for this exact situation since the day he knew of her participation in ANBU, the day when Sakura would eventually get injured on one of her missions and he'd have to help fix her again but nothing could really get him ready for the actual thing.</p><p>"Sakura?" He kept his voice low to avoid waking the rest of the house and also, to avoid startling the girl who looked a bit delirious when she made her entrance.</p><p>Standing up, he quietly made his way to the spot where she fell and was about to reach for her hand before stopping himself. He really didn't know if she was thinking straight right now, and the last thing he needed was for her to lash out and bring the entire house down with her.</p><p>A muffled groan came from the girl, "Sasuke?"</p><p>"I'm here," He said softly. When Sakura raised her hand to his direction, he grasped at it with no hesitation.</p><p>The girl made an indiscernible noise, "I'm not injured. Just tired."</p><p>He let out a relieved sigh. Sasuke didn't know how long they spent like that on his bedroom floor, but somehow, Sasuke knew that this was important and he didn't want to ruin the moment.</p><p>Eventually, Sakura let go and moved to sit up, her movements were slow and it looked like she was exerting so much effort, "I should go. You need to rest."</p><p>"Stay."</p><p>She stared.</p><p>"You can stay," He said again, a bit more firmly, "I don't have training tomorrow and my parents won't mind. They like you." That was an understatement. His mother absolutely loved the girl. Uchiha Mikoto would be ecstatic and see this as some kind of development towards whatever twisted fantasy she had of them getting together. His father wouldn't care just to keep his wife happy.</p><p>"Okay," She said slowly, eyes still on his face, "I'll stay."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"You need a bath. You smell like a slaughterhouse," He stood up from their place on the floor. She was still in her ANBU uniform that made her look so small that it didn't really add anything to her intimidation factor.</p><p>"I'm fine," She smiled from her position, looking up at him, "I'm used to—" She stopped herself from continuing her words and when he took a moment to look at her face, her mouth was set into a grim line and her gaze was averted to something on the floor.</p><p>Sasuke sighed and decided he'd ignore what she said, "I'm not letting you on my bed like that."</p><p>This seemed to be the correct thing to say because the girl openly gaped at him. Everyone was aware of his displeasure at people invading his personal space so her dumbfounded expression wasn't such a shock. She could feel her hesitation to address what he just said and he almost wanted to laugh at her expense.</p><p>Awkward was fine. It was better than her self-loathing episodes.</p><p>"I can sleep on the floor," She squeaked out.</p><p>"Shut up, Sakura," His irritation flaring, "You're not sleeping on the floor. Go take a shower."</p><p>"But I'm perfectly fine here," She whined.</p><p>Sasuke stared at her. Trying to read her expression, but what caught his attention was how obvious the extreme bruising under her eyes were, even in the darkness of his room. And he understood.</p><p>The slow movements, chakra so little he didn't even sense her outside his window. She couldn't even stand up. She drained herself so much that the movement she made earlier to sit upright was a challenge. He wondered if the girl intended to sleep outside in the street earlier when she was saying goodbye because he was sure she wouldn't be able to travel all the way to her apartment in this state.</p><p>"You are taking a shower and going to sleep," He said with narrowed eyes and a tone of finality, "I'll get some clothes," Sasuke turned around to walk to his dresser before she even had the chance to protest.</p><p>When he turned back to hand her the clothes, she was already slumped on the floor unconscious. Sasuke sighed tiredly.</p><p>Deciding to just give her the bath himself since he's already seen her naked anyway and he was absolutely not letting that blood—who knows where it came from—anywhere near his bed. He placed the clothes he got for her in his bathroom and quietly went to pick up the unconscious girl's form so he could carry her to the bathroom.</p><p>It really just had to be his luck that the first time he ever got to undress a girl it would be because he's playing nanny.</p><p>Peeling off the blood-covered armor and removing the standard black uniform underneath, he realized how startling thin Sakura actually was. She always had been quite petite despite Team 7's constant excursions to Ichiraku but the way that he could see her ribs sticking out wasn't very comforting. How did she even survive the missions in ANBU like this?</p><p>He adjusted the hot water in the shower and eased her under the spray slowly so as not to wake her. It really was a testament to how exhausted she had been that the girl didn't even stir and the level of trust she had in him when his presence didn't register as a threat made Sasuke feel all warm and fuzzy, which he determinedly blamed on the hot water. He was sure that it was messing with his head.</p><p>After working to remove the copious amount of blood on her person and dressing her, he exited the bathroom to place the girl on his bed and moved to take his place beside her, making sure that there was enough space between them in case his mother decided to look into his room. And honestly, despite their friendship and all the questionable physical intimacy that it required, close contact on a bed might just end up driving him crazy. He was still a nineteen-year old boy going through puberty after all.</p><p>He didn't know why he even bothered. They were way past propriety at this point.</p><p>Although Sasuke wasn't sure Sakura would appreciate it either. The girl was surprisingly very averse to physical contact other than hand-holding sessions.</p><p>"Hey Sasuke," Her soft voice said from beside him, making Sasuke shift to turn and look at her. With eyes barely open, she reached out for his hand and familiar with this request of physical contact, his raised his own to meet hers, "Thank you."</p><p>He allowed himself to smile, "Aa."</p><p>Sasuke slept a grand total of three hours that night. When he woke up, it was already late in the morning and his pink-haired teammate was still pretty much dead to the world of the living and hadn't moved a single inch in her sleep, her small hand still clutching his own.</p><p>He gently pried it off and decided to go down to the kitchen to check if there was any food ready. His mother was already awake, humming in the kitchen as she worked and he knew from the chakra signals in their home, their father had already left while his brother was still in his own room.</p><p>"Good morning, Kaa-san," He greeted from the entryway to the kitchen.</p><p>His mother turned, the smile on her face was wide and there was a glint in her eyes that wasn't normally there and he knew even before she said the words, what the older woman was thinking, "I noticed that Sakura-chan's here."</p><p>"She was exhausted from a mission and I didn't want to walk her home," It was the truth.</p><p>His mother turned back to her task but the tone of her voice let him know she wasn't done, "I'm surprised she came to see you straight away."</p><p>"Our house is closer to the Hokage's office than her apartment," He made sure to keep his voice even as he took a seat at the dining table. He <em>absolutely</em> refused to let his mother know what he made Sakura promise to him. The older Uchiha already had enough ammunition as it is.</p><p>Thankfully, the woman was distracted by his statement, "Oh, Sakura-chan lives alone?" Mikoto seemed genuinely surprised, "I thought she still lived with her parents."</p><p>"Her parents are gone," Hoping that the emphasis he put on the word 'gone' was enough to let his mother know what he meant. They were killed in action during a mission to the Land of Lightning more than a year ago. It had been the worst week for their team. Sakura spent the entire week locked in their family home while they made sure she didn't cry herself to sleep every night. He wasn't surprised that Mikoto wasn't aware since Sakura hated talking about it to anyone.</p><p>"Oh, the poor girl," His mother said sadly, "Let her know that she can stay over any time."</p><p>Sasuke nodded. Relieved that her tone signaled the end of their conversation and a bit satisfied that he had gotten her permission to let the girl sleep here whenever the need arose.</p><p>His mother and her bleeding heart. Really, she was almost as bad as Sakura, whose absolute goal in life was to make everyone around her safe and happy that even the mess that was Team 7 had managed to work with her acting as the glue that held them together.</p><p>Thinking back on it, he and Naruto had been insufferable as children. They fought like cats and dogs, and what originally would start as bickering would devolve into death matches that Kakashi didn't really care to stop. Sakura wouldn't have any of it though and wasn't afraid to give them a swift punch in the head, regardless of her romantic affections towards himself at the time.</p><p>"Sasuke-chan, you should call Sakura-chan down for breakfast. The food is almost ready and I swear that girl is losing weight every time I see her," His mother said with a slight hint of worry. He stood up from his seat and made his way back to his room, not really wanting to wake the girl but remembered her tendency to skip meals and her drastic weight loss. He was going to make her eat even if he had to stuff the food down her throat himself. She could just go back to sleep after.</p><p>Reaching the door to his room, he opened it and immediately felt his temper flare in irritation.</p><p>His pink-haired teammate was already left.</p><p>The bed had already been made while the blood stains she had left on the floor the night before was gone with only a patch of wetness to indicate that it had just been cleaned. He didn't need to check the bathroom to know that her soiled clothes were no longer there.</p><p>Sasuke sighed irritably. The girl was making his hair turn white, he was sure.</p><p>Noticing the neatly folded clothes on his dresser, he grabbed the note that had been placed on top of pile. Sasuke didn't know whether to smile or groan at the message that had come from his pink-haired teammate.</p><p>
  <em>I'll come see you again. Thank you.</em>
</p><p>She was on another mission.</p><p>-x-</p><p>She came to sleep in his bed again five more times after the first time, which really wasn't supposed to be a big deal to him since he had been the one to invite her there in the first place but he felt like it was starting to <em>become</em> a big deal when all of his beddings started smelling like her and that it didn't even bother him in the least.</p><p>On Sakura's part, she gave no indication that their growing closeness bothered her at all, which only made Sasuke question his sanity even further. She only gave him a small smile and a quiet 'thank you' when he told her that the small drawer in his dresser was for her and she should leave a set of her uniforms there in case she was called for a mission while in the Uchiha home.</p><p>If that wasn't bad enough, during one breakfast that Sakura had surprisingly joined, his mother started asking her about her dating life. Knowing the Uchiha Matriarch's almost obsessive interest in having Sakura join their family, he should have expected it.</p><p>Sakura just looked at his mother, confusion lacing her features and said, "I don't think anyone's interested in me that way, Mikoto-san," He knew that was a lie but the girl probably didn't. He's probably the reason why no one's even bothered to approach her other than her own elusiveness.</p><p>They really didn't bother sneaking around to have lunch together and Inuzuka Kiba, during a gathering with their old classmates that Sasuke had the unfortunate luck to accidentally drop in on when he was picking up some food at the same restaurant, announced that Sasuke smelled so much like Sakura and asked without a hint of embarrassment if they were fucking each other. He threw the boy the most deathly glare he had and told him to mind his own business and what the fuck was he doing sniffing his teammate. It was Yamanaka Ino, with suspicious eyes and sadistic glee, that he was also picking up Sakura's favorite food.</p><p>Sasuke was only thankful that girl wasn't there to hear that conversation, his own embarrassment was enough to deal with.</p><p>Now, Sakura was grating at his nerves again and she wasn't even here. She's been gone for more than a week already and there was a bad feeling that was making itself known in his gut the last time she told him she had to leave for another mission.</p><p>During her absence, Sasuke had been on a short fuse. More so than usual. Snapping at almost everything that became the focus of his ire. Even his father whom he spent most of his time with at the precinct learned to avoid him when his mood was at his foulest. The man probably knew how much his son took after himself.</p><p>He was at the door to her apartment after deciding he'd had enough of her being gone when he felt it. She was inside, which only served to fueled his own irritation further, and he could feel her chakra. There was a feeling that something was terribly wrong though. There was a slight heaviness in the air outside the door, which made him wary but he unlocked her door, and made his way to her bedroom.</p><p>What he found inside made him stop in his tracks.</p><p>Sakura was lying down on her bed. She looked fine and to his slight relief, there was no blood but she was very still.</p><p>But what arrested his movements was that the image of the room continued to flicker out of focus to a scene he was familiar with. Naruto hung from a trap their sensei set up in a tree while Kakashi, Sakura and himself stood teasing him about how dumb he was for actually falling for it.</p><p>It had been a good memory of their old team but he was still confused why she was projecting this through a genjutsu.</p><p>"Sakura?" He asked uncertainly.</p><p>The scene flickered again and morphed into an unfamiliar one. Where Naruto was idly hanging before, a struggling blonde-haired woman hanging by her neck took his place, while Sakura, who was wearing the face of a fox, held her legs before letting go. Sakura's green eyes behind the Fox mask watched with clinical detachment as the woman struggled for her last breath.</p><p>Sasuke stiffened. What was that?</p><p>Sakura's breath hitched, making him glance at her form in the bed by the window. The girl was trembling, he heard her take another breath and the genjutsu flickered back to Team 7's old training session.</p><p>With his initial shock wearing off, Sasuke strode to Sakura intent on snapping her out of whatever genjutsu dream she was trying to live in.</p><p>"Sakura?" He called out again. But the girl was so immersed in her self-created world didn't even give him a response and this worried him.</p><p>"Sakura, snap out of it!" He growled and grabbed her hand, fully intending to give her a small shock with his lightning chakra just to get his point across.</p><p>The moment he touched her hand, it seemed it wasn't necessary. The scene that was being fueled by her chakra disappeared and Sakura turned to him with a startled expression, "Sasuke, you're here."</p><p>"What were you doing?" He hissed, "Is this why you haven't gone to see me? Have you been staying in this illusion since you came back?" She was still wearing her uniform sans the mask that he saw earlier.</p><p>The girl turned her eyes away, shame gracing her features, "It was comforting… I didn't notice I cast it to cover the ro—" She trailed off before she suddenly sat up in panic, "What did you see?"</p><p>Sasuke stared at her, "I saw everything."</p><p>Sakura's face blanched.</p><p>"I'm sorry," She let go of his hand and curled up into a ball at the edge of her bed, the furthest away from him before apologizing again, "Sorry."</p><p>He moved to sit beside her on the bed and reached for her hand, "Sakura, it's fine."</p><p>"Please don't touch me," She whispered pathetically while turning to face the wall, "Just go," She was still trembling.</p><p>Completely ignoring her pleas, he grabbed her shoulder forcing the girl to face him. Her eyes were glassy, looking like she was on the verge of crying but not allowing her tears to fall, "It's okay, Sakura."</p><p>He watched her choke on a breath and moved to retreat further away from him, but he managed to grab the hand that had been his original target, "You're in Konoha. You're safe. I'm here. It's fine."</p><p>She stilled.</p><p>"You're okay, Sakura."</p><p>"I'm okay?" She asked, uncertain.</p><p>"You're okay," He said with finality.</p><p>She gave him a small wobbly smile, "Okay."</p><p>It seemed that her bad episode was over and Sasuke felt slightly relieved, if not a bit worried. Glancing around her room, he noticed how barely lived in the place looked. Other than the bed that they were on, everything was covered with a thin layer of dust, which only told him how often she was away.</p><p>He squeezed her hand and decided that he couldn't let her be alone in this state any longer, "Let's go home, Sakura."</p><p>-x-</p><p>It was already a few days after he caught her in her self-induced genjutsu. Afraid of what she might do to herself alone, Sasuke insisted that she stay in the Uchiha household for the time being. His mother was ecstatic to have another female in the house and Sakura seemed okay with it so it wasn't so bad.</p><p>Despite the availability of the guestrooms, she still stayed in his room. Thankfully, neither of his parents pointed it while Itachi had been gone on another mission but he doubted his older brother would care. Sakura herself didn't ask any questions.</p><p>It had been a peaceful few days and everyone was getting used to the temporary new addition in their home. Sakura helped his mother with her errands and looked a bit happier in the presence of the older Uchiha. Despite this, his thoughts kept on coming back to Sakura's genjutsu rendition of her mission.</p><p>He had never seen her wearing her ANBU mask. He supposed that she preferred to keep her identity in the organization as discreet as possible. Sasuke was sure he only saw her in uniform when he discovered her bloodied in her apartment and after that, the times when she went directly to his home after a mission. He also couldn't recall a time when she spoke with any other operatives. Not even Kakashi, whose participation in the elite organization was an open secret.</p><p>Although, he recalled that she'd been alone in the illusion. Did the fact that she didn't have friends in ANBU mean that she was frequently alone on assignments? Was she always off on solo missions?</p><p>"Sakura," He called.</p><p>Sakura glanced up from her position on the floor where she was quietly sharpening her kunai, "Yes?"</p><p>"Do you have a team?" He knew it would be unlikely for her to answer since it was most likely above his clearance to know such information but Sakura had been surprisingly open to him about leaving on missions. He hoped it would extend to a few more questions.</p><p>"Not really," She said after a moment of thought. Turning back to her weapons, she added, "I'm usually alone."</p><p>So his initial guess was correct. That was a bit surprising. Even Itachi didn't go on missions by himself often. Actually, if he recalled, the last few times he bade their mother goodbye, his older brother mentioned that he would be with his usual team, which had been a fairly recent development since in his younger years Itachi would be shuffled among the teams.</p><p>He appreciated that she would willing tell him the information he asked for but Sasuke wasn't sure he liked the idea of her being alone.</p><p>"Should I try for ANBU?" Although, he wasn't entirely sure how he would be able to balance the time between the missions and his training at the Police Force.</p><p>He heard a harsh scrape accompanies by a curse. Alarmed, Sasuke turned to his teammate on the floor just in time to see her chakra flicker to heal a relatively harmless cut on her hand.</p><p>Calming down when he realized what happened, he asked again, "Should I?"</p><p>"No." Her answer was quick but very firm that made him feel like she would do anything in her power to prevent him from ever joining and an emotion he wasn't quite familiar with.</p><p>"Do you think I'm not good enough?" Sasuke scowled.</p><p>Despite training with his father in managing the Police Force most of the time, Sasuke did keep up with his shinobi training. He sparred with other Uchiha in his free time, and if both their schedules permitted, Itachi as well. The fact that he could keep up with Itachi meant that his skills were, if not great, good enough to get into ANBU.</p><p>"You're definitely qualified to join," Her easy admission surprised him, she crawled closer to the bed and motioned to reach for his hand that he automatically gave her without a second thought. It was understood between the both of them that it was a request of comfort from her and he was glad that it only required the minimum amount of physical contact. Though what she needed the comfort for was what puzzled him.</p><p>"Sasuke, I won't ask you for anything else," She began, "But you have to promise me not to join ANBU."</p><p>"Why? We can ask to be in a team together," The irony of the situation was beginning to get to him. He would have never imagined that he'd be the one to ask to be put into a team with Sakura.</p><p>It seemed like she knew that too when she gave him a bittersweet smile, "Especially not for that."</p><p>"You have to tell me why."</p><p>Sakura locked her emerald green eyes on his own. The green of her irises remind him of what they looked like behind the Fox mask that she wore when she watched the woman in her vision struggle to live, "Please promise me."</p><p>The expression she held on her face looked like she was on the verge of tears and her shoulders were stiff with tension, he opened his mouth to promise just so she wouldn't cry, "Yes, but you still have to tell me why."</p><p>The girls shoulders slumped in relief and squeezed his hand, "I'm scared that you'd be too good at it."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Less gore and action this time, I suppose. Hehe. Sasuke's a bit out of character, but I think living with family would severely lessen his brooding and anti-social tendencies. This chapter is a bit on the fluffier side too.</p><p>Although, the strange coping mechanism Sakura developed should be a cause of worry for her boys. It was inspired by the concept of the Infinite Tsukiyomi, but instead of creating a perfect world, she tries to immerse herself in her happier memories.</p><p>Let me know what you think about this development! I think the next chapter is going to feature a bit more violence, if my plans push through.</p><p>Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Importance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Thank you everyone for your reviews! I really, really appreciate them. They're really a good motivator to keep writing!</p><p>09/11/2020: I finally got the time to edit this! Work and life has been crazy.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.</p><p>Trigger warning: Depictions of violence and child abuse.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Four figures stood tall on the roof of the largest house in the compound, the wind blowing their hair in the breeze and the moon shone brightly allowing them a good visual of their location. They were at the edges of Earth Country, the side furthest away from the Land of Fire, in a large compound surrounded by picturesque cliffs and rocky terrain that distanced the location from any kind of civilization.</p><p>Itachi held no particular feelings for the Land of Earth but he always disliked long travels in the rough and rocky terrain. It didn't help that he was also slightly suspicious of their—<em>her</em> mission objectives.</p><p>This time they weren't given any details, just the usual instructions that they were to extract Fox should there be any issues. Team Ro had become glorified baby-sitters.</p><p>Although he could understand why the Hokage was adamant that Fox be returned to Konoha. They had already been informed of their operation that's scheduled to happen in two months. But why let the girl out of the village at all?</p><p>The mystery around ANBU Operative Fox was something that caught his interest and Itachi would have delved a little deeper into it if he hadn't been caught up in missions and clan duties. The explanation of her technique that the Hokage had given them was good enough to pique his personal curiosity. The technique that the girl had supposedly created was unbelievable at the very least.</p><p>A bastardized version of the Kotoamatsukami, a Sharingan technique exclusive to his cousin that controlled the minds of its victims through suggestion and excellent genjutsu manipulation, but more dastardly as it can control masses of people simultaneously, only limited by Fox's chakra reserves.</p><p>And with the Yin seal the damage she could cause was nearly limitless.</p><p>Taking a break from his thoughts to focus at the task at hand, Itachi looked around. It was an old compound, littered with traditional homes made from wood that were past their prime but durable enough to house those that wouldn't mind a few leaks should the rain come.</p><p>"Stay close to me," He heard Fox instruct, "I'm familiar enough with your chakra signatures to pick you out but if you accidentally go on a rampage and get hurt, I refuse to be held responsible."</p><p>Itachi raised a brow behind his mask. Being a genius, he was never treated like… like he was a liability. It was certainly a fresh experience.</p><p>"So friendly," He heard a murmur from their Captain as they all took a step closer. From his a peripheral vision, Itachi could see that Hatake Kakashi was still as a rock despite the sarcasm in his statement.</p><p>Ever since the assignment with Matsunaga Keiichi, their Captain had been on edge. He supposed he understood. The girl had been his student, someone the man had watched when she was a child, green as the leaves of their village, and he was made to watch her manipulate a man into slaughtering his own child with clinical detachment.</p><p>Itachi himself had almost intervened, his tendency to protect young children almost making him forget they were on an assignment.</p><p>While the act itself was what bothered Itachi the most, he was sure for the Copy-nin it was a different matter altogether. He'd met Sakura as a child as well, and Itachi also had difficulty reconciling the sweet little girl who was as pretty as a doll that his mother doted on like her own child to the manipulative ANBU Operative. He could only imagine what it was like for her former sensei.</p><p>Of course, he was aware that a lot of people change after joining the organization. ANBU was a different kind of beast that required a unique kind of loyalty and a heart as hard as stone to survive.</p><p>Their only female teammate, Uzuki Yugao, had been acting strange since that mission as well. Every time they were called to the Hokage's office, she would enter the room as if she were entering a battleground but her shoulders would loosen slightly once she sees that no one else was there other than the Godaime. He originally guessed that that it was just an extreme form of paranoia that plagued most agents and Itachi almost brushed it off, but when she arrived earlier that morning to find Fox already in the room, the other female visibly stiffened even further.</p><p>A large burst of chakra and a sudden feeling of slight suffocation distracted him.</p><p>All of them turned their heads to Fox, whose arms now featured thick lines of dark purple running down her shoulders and arms. The Yin Seal. The famed technique of their Hokage that was deemed the pinnacle of chakra control and allowed unimaginable feats for those who bore it.</p><p>He's never seen the seal used. The Hokage was rarely called to fight and Haruno Sakura rarely utilized it in battle, preferring her genjutsu and medical expertise that only required a minimum amount of chakra to utilize. The previous missions that included Team Ro didn't require any massive amount of chakra as well.</p><p>Itachi and his team felt the entire compound be encompassed by green glowing chakra that seemed to pulse every second. It was very much like what they saw in their last mission when Matsunaga Keiichi gut his own child in a fit of rage.</p><p>They heard the rough slide of wooden doors being opened. And slowly, as if being called by some unseen being, men and women holding weapons tread to the courtyard just in front of the home they were currently perched on, while a few children followed closely behind.</p><p>Then he felt it. Small bursts of chakra came from the people below. <em>They were trying to break the genjutsu.</em></p><p>But no one succeeded in their attempts to escape from the clutches of Fox's technique. While no one moved among the members of Team Ro, Itachi could feel the tension between them rise while his own mind started whirring, his curiosity going on overdrive. The questions in his head almost bubbling out of his mouth, only held back by the discipline that was ingrained to him since his childhood.</p><p>He felt Cat take a step back.</p><p>"Stop," Fox suddenly said, alerted by the movement of the female ANBU, "Don't take another step. Your chakra is the least familiar to me. If I lose track of you, you'll end up caught and there's no way to get out on your own."</p><p>Dog spoke in defense of his team, voice tight, "Cat is skilled. Weasel and I are doujutsu users," An unneeded reminder since he was sure that Fox knew exactly who they were.</p><p>Fox didn't even spare him a glance, "Genjutsu is an insertion of chakra in a person's cerebral nervous system. Normally, people do it through a focal point with their chakra harnessed through hand seals."</p><p>They heard the ominous sound of metal weaponry being unsheathed.</p><p>"Those are easy enough to break, which is why layering genjutsu is ideal. In this case, the entire compound is covered in chakra that I'm constantly inserting into their systems to directly control their neural functions. How many times they try to release it or whatever pedigree they have won't matter," <em>They won't get out.</em></p><p>Itachi processed the implications of her statement. The Sharingan couldn't exactly prevent an Uchiha from getting caught in an illusion. It simply rendered genjutsu ineffective because of how easily they could pick up its inconsistencies, which signals them to break it. But if you kept on breaking a genjutsu only to be thrown back into the same vision…</p><p>Your mind will slowly accept it as reality.</p><p>A shrill battle cry resounded in the air and the chakra surrounded the compound pulsed faster.</p><p>"Watch," She gestured to the scene below them, "The show's about to begin."</p><p>The members of Team Ro followed her line of vision. With the shouts of battle and raised weapons of various kinds, the warriors below began to charge at each other, attacking their own. Movements fast and sure. Their swords going through the torsos of their own comrades like butter, kunai flying straight into the heads of their friends like a target, and children's necks broken with a simple flick of their wrists.</p><p>Itachi felt slightly sick.</p><p>"I'm currently simulating the brain activity to copy the signals of those suffering from extreme aggression with a very high dose of adrenaline. In their minds, these people are fighting a war."</p><p>The largest man, who Itachi recognized as the one who exited from the home they were watching from, swung his broadsword strong and hard, beheading those around him with ease but not without a price as others slashed at him with their own blades drawing blood, blood that won't stop gushing like a faucet no matter the size of the cuts.</p><p>"That's…" Cat said, the shiver in her voice betraying the discomfort she felt, "That's unnatural."</p><p>"It's because it <em>is</em> unnatural," Fox stated, "Speeding up blood circulation is quite easy. Blood loss is a common enough cause of death."</p><p>The green chakra continued to pulse as if it had a life its own. Illuminating the area with an eerie glow that made the hair on the back of Itachi's neck stand on end but he refused to be daunted. He wanted to know. Itachi had always been inquisitive as a child, his intelligent mind eager to understand what it found fascinating.</p><p>"Usually people don't let others know the secrets to their techniques," Itachi mused out loud. It was a question directed to the girl that he disguised as a statement.</p><p>"Even if I tell you, you'll never be able to replicate it."</p><p>"You forget. That is the specialty of my doujutsu," Itachi felt himself frown at her words. He did not appreciate being underestimated. He'd had enough of that as the youngest member of the elite organization. It was his job to unsettle, to shock. He did not take kindly to being on the other end of the experience.</p><p>Fox answered, her voice not unkind but merely explanatory, "The genjutsu itself will be easy enough for you but the rest is pure chakra manipulation partnered with a heavy knowledge of medical ninjutsu. I know enough to assume that you have the best chakra control in your clan, and even that isn't enough," A scream from below interrupted her, effectively grabbing their attention, "I'm almost done."</p><p>When Team Ro turned their gaze back down to the battlefield, a variety of dead bodies were scattered across the courtyard. Men, women and children lay in pools of their own blood, with some of the bodies missing vital parts. In the middle of it all, the same large man from before stood weakly, only supported by his broadsword that was wedged into the ground.</p><p>The chakra pulsed quicker than before, as if it hungered for blood and death.</p><p>And like a stream from a strong fountain, large spurts of blood came gushing out from the wounds that were inflicted on his body. And when the man fell, the chakra that covered the entire compound in an eerie light disappeared completely, leaving no trace except for the destruction it had created.</p><p>-x-</p><p>"Sakura-chan," Itachi heard their Captain call.</p><p>They were currently at a room in a small inn. Kakashi had decided that they stay the night rather than navigate the dangerous terrain of Earth in the darkness. Their masks were removed and now, they were officially on an escort mission for the Hokage's apprentice who had gone to heal an old friend of her master in a nearby village.</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei," She answered, from her perch on the sill of the only window in the small room, not even sparing the older man a glance as she stared at the moon that hung low in the sky.</p><p>"Who was your assignment?" <em>Who was your real target? Was it all of them?</em></p><p>Apparently, it wasn't only Itachi who had been suspicious of the pink-haired kunoichi's mission. There had been no explanation as to her mission objectives, just a location and instructions not to interfere. Itachi observed the pink-haired girl's eyes scan the room only to stop at the temporary seals that had been placed before they settled on Kakashi, "There was no assignment."</p><p>"…No assignment?" Itachi, in all his time serving with the infamous Copy Ninja, had never seen the man express the number of emotions that were displayed on his face. <em>Confusion. Anger. Hysteria. Sadness. Anger.</em></p><p>Kakashi's voice was hard and cut through the silence and the suffocating tension in the room that made itself known following Sakura's answer, "This was a trial run."</p><p>The younger girl shrugged prettily, her face completely devoid of emotion but her eyes returned their gaze back onto the view that the small window provided, "Yes."</p><p>The air in the room thickened. Team Ro had done their fair share of dubious missions but, as far as Itachi could recall, they had never been told to kill for no reason other than to test the effectiveness of a jutsu.</p><p>"A disgrace. You are—a disgrace—" Itachi and Kakashi's attention snapped to the other female in the room. Yugao, who had been cleaning her weapons earlier, was staring intently at her sword that she held with a white-knuckled grip that trembled with every word, "You've twisted the art of healing into this—into this monstrosity."</p><p>Kakashi tried to cut her off, "Uzuki—"</p><p>"Did I?" Sakura asked. It was rhetorical and her voice was still calm while she continued her perusal of the night's sky.</p><p>"I've worked with you in the hospital—Your master would never have taught you this!" Yugao's words were harsh, the kunoichi's face reddening due to her anger, "A true medical ninja would never use their jutsu to kill!"</p><p>The male occupants of the small room remained silent, not knowing what to say. Itachi figured that Kakashi, despite his intelligence, still hasn't processed what was going on and as for himself, the experience was so unfamiliar, he was still considering what would be the appropriate action to take. They had never seen Yugao so worked up about anything, the only female member was usually quiet and followed orders without question. Though Itachi remembered that she did work as an assistant at the hospital prior to her reinstatement in ANBU.</p><p>"Of course not. I learned this on my own," Sakura turned to face the other female in the room and the expression on her face almost looked amused, but her voice did not convey any particular emotion, "I was always the exception, Uzuki-san."</p><p>"You killed children—!" The purple-haired kunoichi almost roared at the girl.</p><p>"Because those are orders and this is our job," She explained patiently, as if speaking to a child that had no idea what they were talking about.</p><p>"I have morals—"</p><p>"If you had morals, you wouldn't be here," The pink-haired girl said with a snort.</p><p>No one contradicted her.</p><p>Itachi was well aware that the missions they were given were questionable in terms of morality. It was what new recruits constantly had trouble understanding, which is why an evaluation period was necessary to remain in ANBU. He had to agree with Sakura. Yugao was a seasoned agent, but she wasn't acting like one at the moment.</p><p>"Do you think I'm clueless because I'm new? I was taught what lengths we go to for the village the very first time I wore my mask," The smile on her lips turning so bitter Itachi could almost taste it, "My evaluation was rather unorthodox. I became a full member after one mission."</p><p>That <em>was </em>unusual, which made him curious all the more. The evaluation period was usually a fixed number of missions over a certain period of time and even then acceptance into the organization depended on the assessment of her superiors.</p><p>Without warning, the entire room warped to a dark office. The only figures inside of it were that of the pink-haired girl who stood in front of a desk, and on the other side a brown-haired wore the mask of a dog sat, his white cloak stood out in the dreary room. His mask different from Kakashi's own but still as intimidating.</p><p>
  <em>The ANBU Commander.</em>
</p><p>The man rarely interacted with anyone other than the Hokage. No one knew what his real name was and no one saw him without his mask. Even during council meetings, the ANBU Commander was exempt from showing his face. His position did not allow for any vulnerabilities.</p><p>"Since you seem eager, I'll give you a challenge for your first mission," The man drawled as he threw a scroll for the young woman to catch, the black eyes behind the mask sharp with interest that was in direct contrast with his bored tone, "A black market dealer from Rain."</p><p>"Which team shall I join?"</p><p>"No team."</p><p>Itachi raised his eyebrows in silent surprise.</p><p>Trainees were never sent on solos. Even his own evaluation consisted of missions under the supervision of several experienced teams. There was too much at risk during a solo and if something went wrong, a clean-up would need to be done and Konoha would be one less soldier. This was even truer for a solo mission that dealt with any black market dealings, where the large amounts of money on the line could afford the deadliest contractors. This wasn't an evaluation. It was a death sentence.</p><p>While Hatake Kakashi stood beside him looking like he was about to lose his control any moment, the Sakura in the vision kept her face carefully blank, only a slight downward twitch of her lips indicated her discomfort at the information, "I see."</p><p>"Pass by the armory before you leave. And Haruno," The man called.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Make sure to leave a nice message for those who'll find them," The man instructed.</p><p>The vision warped again and this time it was of Sakura in the midst of battle in a dark cave that was only illuminated by torches, wedged into the walls of the cavern.</p><p>More than ten people were already dead on the floor, their bodies littered with senbon that dripped purple liquid rather than blood. Poison was the only answer but the carnage that Sakura caused wasn't without setbacks, as a kunai was visibly wedged into her side and her body was littered with cuts that varied in size and oozed blood.</p><p>She was struggling in a stalemate with a much larger man, her standard-issue katana held uncertainly against the man's own sword.</p><p>"Of course, Konoha had to send their regards," The man muttered as he grit his teeth, "You're pretty strong for such a small female," The man said off-handedly before jumping back. When his features were illuminated by the flames, Itachi was finally able to pick up the dark hair, dark eyes and pointed teeth. His features common enough to be anyone, however, it was the long scar that ran from his left temple down to his right cheek that let him identify who Sakura had been fighting.</p><p>
  <em>Miyamoto Moya.</em>
</p><p>A swordsman from Mist infamous for defecting after denied entry to the organization of the Seven Swordsmen. There were rumors that the man was too money-obsessed and had resorted to means that even bloody Mist had found unsavory.</p><p>The sudden loss of his weight made the young woman's stance falter, which had been enough of a distraction for someone of Miyamoto's caliber. The man moved quick to plunge his sword into her chest but Sakura stepped to the side to dodge. She wasn't quick enough and the weapon impaled her close to her shoulder and out through her back.</p><p>The pain went largely ignored by the kunoichi as she dropped her own weapon to grab the man's hand that gripped the hilt of his sword with her left hand, and her right balled into a fist aimed for his head.</p><p>If someone asked Itachi if he'd ever seen a human head explode before, he couldn't say he had but Sakura just made sure to correct that oversight.</p><p>The mask that she wore was covered in small bits of white—<em>skull fragments, </em>his mind helpfully supplied—while red fluid that he wasn't sure was blood or brain matter left small trails of pink as it made its way down the porcelain. For the sake of the newer recruits, he hoped that the blank masks weren't reused.</p><p>Sakura was breathing heavily, the ragged breaths she took indicated how much the activity pained her as she let go of the swordsman's decapitated body and let it fall to the ground. After a few seconds, the pink-haired girl moved her mask to uncover a small mouth and began to cough heavily. Dribbles of blood ran down her chin.</p><p>Itachi had no knowledge of medical ninjutsu but even he knew that Miyamoto had stabbed a lung. She took a pained breath before moving her mask back into place, pulled out the kunai that was still lodged into her side and grabbed the hilt of the sword that was still skewered into her chest.</p><p>They smelled the blood in the air, they felt the heat from the flames of the torches, and they even sensed the burst of chakra from the girl as the same dark lines from earlier began to wrap around her body. Itachi had to admire the genjutsu they were in. It would put any Uchiha to shame regardless of their doujutsu.</p><p>They watched as she braced herself and in one movement, pulled the weapon out of her chest with a gasp. The wounds covering her began to release steam and after a moment, disappeared completely without a single scar on her skin.</p><p>The girl let out a deep breath, this time less pained, and moved to a large rock at the corner of the cave where a trembling man hid. She grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the flat surface of the cave's wall.</p><p>"I'll pay you!" The man said as he choked in her grip, "He said you were from Konoha—I'll give Konoha anything—!"</p><p>Sakura didn't say a word.</p><p>The small hand around his neck glowed green.</p><p>The dark-haired man began to shake, his eyes drooped while terrible seizures took over his body and blood began to drip out of his nose, ears, and mouth. It lasted only half a minute before he stopped moving completely.</p><p>Sakura raised the sword that was just moments ago in her chest.</p><p>And stabbed it straight through the man's head, impaling him to the wall of the cave.</p><p>After moving away, she stood still in front of her handiwork as if in deep thought before she flickered away, leaving the evidence of her slaughter behind for someone else to find.</p><p>The genjutsu warped again and they were back in the dark office with the ANBU Commander. Sakura stood in front of the man's desk, still bloody but no longer masked. Her face signaled exhaustion but it was strangely blank except for a vacant look in her eyes that made it seem like she somewhere faraway.</p><p>The man before her spoke, "The sword was a nice touch."</p><p>"Thank you," She said tonelessly, an automatic response to a compliment, "May I ask something?"</p><p>The ANBU Commander raised his head from his paperwork, "Go ahead."</p><p>"Why did I kill him?" She still seemed completely out of it. Her eyes still unfocused and her words robotic. Rarely did anyone ask the question 'why' with regard to their mission.</p><p>"Because we ordered you to," The man seemed amused, "Konoha doesn't take too kindly to people who rip us off with overpriced weaponry."</p><p>When Sakura didn't answer, the Commander continued, "I understand you wanted to join as medical support. Your kenjutsu needs to improve but your durability makes you more useful for other purposes."</p><p>His statement seemed to snap her out of her stupor and she focused on the man that sat before her, "I'm not sure I understand."</p><p>"I have another mission here that will benefit from your skills," The man said, his hand offering her another scroll, "Unless, your condition is not fit, we can assign it to—"</p><p>"I'll take it," She said a little too quickly for Itachi's taste. An idea began to form in his mind.</p><p>"You'll also need this," The man said, as he opened a drawer to his side and took out a mask, a mask that they were all familiar with now.</p><p>"Welcome to ANBU, Agent Fox."</p><p>The vision warped again. Returning its audience to the small room of the inn, the genjutsu slowly faded and disappeared completely.</p><p>"My first ANBU mission," Sakura said, her green eyes fixed into knots in the wood of the window frame, "and my first kill. I don't even remember which one of them died first."</p><p>She continued, "Konoha ordered me to kill a man because he was selling overpriced kunai. Our job is anything but morally upright." She turned to Yugao, giving the woman a look, "That man died from a chakra-induced brain aneurysm, taught to me by Tsunade-sama."</p><p>"I—" Yugao began but Kakashi cut her off, his voice was tight but he was visibly trying to lighten the situation, "That's enough already. In any case, you're part of the team now, Sakura. I would appreciate it if arguments were kept to a minimum," The older man said, giving her a forced smile behind his mask that was only made obvious by the crease of his eyes.</p><p>Sakura stared at him.</p><p>"It'll take a while for you to get used to working with other people again but a few training sessions should fix that."</p><p>Itachi couldn't help but stare at their Captain as well as the older man attempted to simulate the sense of camaraderie and teamwork that he most likely had ingrained into his genin team.</p><p>Itachi frowned. That kind of thinking would never work in ANBU and he was sure that Kakashi was aware of this as well, which only showed that the man was still struggling to hold on to the identity of Haruno Sakura that he knew and was used to.</p><p>"Kakashi," Sakura's voice was soft as if trying to comfort the Copy-nin. The lack of 'sensei' didn't go unnoticed by everyone in the room, but Kakashi's form that stiffened at the address was the only sign that showed, "I told you about my first mission to remind you too. I'm not part of this team. I work alone."</p><p>"None of you are stupid to think that your team was assigned to work with me," She paused as if considering her next words, "You're only here to make sure I come back alive. Or dead."</p><p>Her green eyes flitted to land on each of them, a look of acceptance and resignation in their depths, "You're my leash."</p><p>-x-</p><p>The trip home had been awkward and Itachi was slightly concerned. Yugao was constantly tense and fidgeting while their Captain seemed completely lost in thought. Thankfully, their travel was smooth and they arrived at the Hokage's office in record time. After which, Fox had been dismissed right after her report.</p><p>"I request to be removed from this operation," Cat's sudden request grabbed everyone's attention.</p><p>This wasn't a surprise based on what happened on their mission. Although, Itachi was definitely curious as to why Yugao had such a strong resentment for Sakura but Cat had always been a person who put herself into what she did and that kind of personality did not allow her to tolerate working with someone she openly disagreed with. He couldn't help but take Sakura's side on the matter because he agreed that she was right. She was just following orders, just like every one of them.</p><p>"Oh?" The Godaime asked with a raised brow, "Why don't you tell me why I should let you off the hook, Cat?"</p><p>"I worked with Fox prior to her assignment in ANBU," Cat began reluctantly, "She assisted me with… Hayate." She whispered the name of her former lover so quietly but everyone in the room heard. Suddenly, the inquisitive eyes of the Hokage softened, the older woman being able to sympathize with Yugao's situation. She was familiar with the loss of a lover after all.</p><p>"She was your counselor?"</p><p>Everyone was aware of Hayate Gekkou's demise in a clash against Sand shinobi. It was an international incident that pushed both villages to review their alliance, and subsequently, caused the removal of the Fourth Kazekage by the Suna elders, who explained that they could not afford to have Konoha as an enemy because of a prejudiced man when all their grains originated from the Hidden Leaf.</p><p>"Yes," Cat answered, "I am uncomfortable and my emotional state may interfere with the success of the mission."</p><p>"I suppose it is difficult to take a therapist seriously when you see her in ANBU," Tsunade said out loud, "It shouldn't be an issue since Team Ro won't be working with Fox for a while. I will excuse you from the operation. You're dismissed, Cat." Yugao gave their Hokage a small nod of thanks before flickering away.</p><p>"What will Fox be doing?" Dog asked, concern evident in his voice.</p><p>Itachi observed their Hokage, who was eyeing a sake bottle on their desk like it was food placed in front of a starving man. With a sigh, she forced herself to turn her attention back to them, "It's up to the Commander. He's taken her under his wing," She paused as if contemplating something, "Masks off."</p><p>It was rare that the Hokage requested agents to remove their mask in her presence. It implied that whatever they would discuss now, she needed their inputs and not just an affirmative that they would fulfill what order she would say.</p><p>"I'm worried about Sakura," She began as she finally poured herself a cup of sake, "Whatever she's been doing isn't healthy and I'm asking you two to take care of her as a personal favor."</p><p>Itachi remained quiet because he wasn't sure what the Hokage expected him to do. He knew of Haruno Sakura, as much as every other ninja who was treated by her in the hospital, but he was never particularly close to the much younger female. Actually, he wasn't particularly close to anyone outside of his clan at all. Though he was a bit happy to have a reason to approach the girl to satisfy his own curiosity.</p><p>Taking a sip she continued, "She's been more reserved than usual. The only person she talks to outside of missions is your brother, Uchiha. She's been staying at your family's compound in between missions."</p><p>So that was why then. He'd been aware of her frequent presence at his family's home but he wasn't informed that she'd been staying there for days at a time. A niggling suspicion made itself known at the back of his mind. The Uchiha were sticklers for propriety. Why had his parents agreed to house her for extended stays?</p><p>"Why not speak to her directly?" Itachi asked their leader. She was her apprentice after all, and the girl seemed to respect her authority if anything else.</p><p>"You think I haven't tried?" Tsunade growled with exasperation, "Our relationship is a bit rocky right now and that girl can be as evasive as the two of you when she wants to be. Won't even tell me anything about her training sessions with that stupid dog—No offense, Hatake."</p><p>The only other dog mask in ANBU was the commander himself, "None taken but I would like to know why exactly the Commander has been training her?" The surprise very noticeable in Kakashi's voice.</p><p>"Yes, he said that he's the best person to teach her about swordwork and then some," Tsunade huffed before taking an angry sip of her sake.</p><p>"And you allowed it?" Kakashi asked, miffed. Poaching students was frowned upon but not illegal. Itachi supposed that Hatake Kakashi had only taken no offense of Sakura's mentorship with Tsunade because the older woman was a better fit for her skills and staying in the village as the Hokage's valued apprentice and medic guaranteed her safety.</p><p>Tsunade gave him a look of irritation, "Being the Hokage doesn't allow me the time to monitor each and every one of you. The Commander's interest in her is concerning but it isn't the only problem I have to deal with."</p><p>"The Council?" Kakashi asked, and Itachi glanced at the older man, who looked absolutely exhausted, his shoulders slouched and his visible eye red from an obvious lack of sleep.</p><p>"They're both terrified and happy, which is always a cause for concern. At this point, they will do <em>anything </em>to keep her loyal to Konoha."</p><p>Both he and Kakashi stilled at the Hokage's words. Haruno Sakura was right. Team Ro was a leash. His own suspicions about their assignment to extract her reached the same hypothesis but Tsunade just confirmed everything.</p><p>"They're still questioning her loyalty?" Kakashi asked incredulously.</p><p>"Why not remove her from the roster entirely? Keep her in the hospital," Itachi suggested at the same time.</p><p>Tsunade looked at them as if they were simple-minded fools, "You think they would let that happen? When those old fools see power, they'd be hard-pressed to pass up the opportunity to use it," She took another sip, "Although, I can see why they're concerned. I don't even want to think about what could happen if this kind of technique fell into the hands of another village but I know why she joined ANBU so I don't think she'll be upping and leaving of her own choice."</p><p>If Itachi's guess at Haruno Sakura's motivation was correct, he wasn't too worried about her loyalties as well.</p><p>"In any case, Sakura doesn't work in the hospital anymore," She added, her brows furrowed together in a frown, "She hasn't even visited the hospital as a patient, which is exactly what's bothering me."</p><p>Itachi was genuinely curious now, "Not once?"</p><p>"During her entire tenure in ANBU, not once," Tsunade said, "I'm not totally unaware. I know she's been on solos for most, if not all of her missions, which means a higher mortality rate and exactly the reason why I'm losing my hair from having to worry about that idiot."</p><p>"Tsunade-sama," Kakashi started, voice even. Probably hoping to calm the woman who was slowly losing her temper and quite possibly, to reassure himself as well, "You taught her yourself. You should know that she can heal herself. It's exactly why she was assigned to those missions in the first place,"</p><p>The Hokage gave let out a deep sigh, "It wouldn't be a problem if she was just healing herself regularly but if she uses Creation Rebirth…"</p><p>"Is there something wrong with the technique?" Itachi asked.</p><p>"It's not something I tell people," Tsunade said while pouring herself another cup of alcohol, "Since only Sakura and I use it, it seemed unnecessary and risky to inform others of its effects. The technique basically forces the body's cell division to speed up. Rather than repair, it replaces the damaged cells resulting in an instantaneous healing of any injury."</p><p>She was practically invulnerable to damage then.</p><p>"But the body's cells can only divide a certain number of times and if Sakura's been using it so frequently—"</p><p>Itachi felt Kakashi tense at the Hokage's words as the other man finally understood the implications of what the Hokage was saying.</p><p>"—Then she's already taken years off her life."</p><p>-x-</p><p>"Uchiha-san," Sakura greeted him as he took a seat beside her at the engawa of his family home. The younger girl was holding a cup of tea as she soaked in the view that the Uchiha gardens provided.</p><p>In the backdrop of the lush trees and the blossoming flowerbeds that have been carefully tended to by the caretakers, Haruno Sakura almost looked like a creature from another world. Even he could admit that the younger woman was very pleasant to look at with the softest pink hair and deep green eyes. Her delicate coloring and unique features made her look like the very embodiment of Spring.</p><p>Very far from what anyone would have envisioned regarding ANBU Operative Fox.</p><p>"Haruno-san," He greeted, "I was unaware you were our guest."</p><p>"I apologize. Sasuke insists that I come by after every mission. He worries too much," Itachi had to agree. Sasuke had always been a closet worrier even at a young age. Despite his gruff demeanor, his younger brother was such a nagger and Itachi had always been a frequent target of Sasuke's ire. Apparently, the attitude extended to his former teammate as well.</p><p>"He is aware then?" He asked, wondering slightly if Team 7's bond was truly that strong even after their disbandment. It was a well-known fact around the village that his little brother's team was famous for their effective teamwork. He was sure that they would have stayed together too if they didn't have individual dreams that could only be achieved outside of their team. With Naruto travelling to pursue the Toad Sannin's teachings, Haruno Sakura being apprenticed to the Hokage and his own brother training to work beside their father, Team 7 mutually agreed to officially disband with a promise to reform again once they've attained their goals.</p><p>The pink-haired woman scrunched her nose, as if annoyed of his brother's knowledge, "Yes."</p><p>"I see," He said without any meaning, "I hope you have been enjoying your stay," He added, purposefully leaving an opening for her to pursue this line of conversation.</p><p>"You parents have been more than welcoming," Her eyes shifted to him, a heavy load of suspicion present behind the emerald green of her eyes.</p><p>"It is no issue. My mother enjoys your company."</p><p>He had his own guesses about why his parents were hospitable. Mikoto was never subtle about her adoration for Sasuke's pink-haired teammate but his father was another story. The man did not usually appreciate any distractions that may sidetrack his sons' attentions on their careers so Itachi had taken some time to ponder on his father's intentions.</p><p>Fugaku was a clan head. And clan heads were given information by the Council or by the Hokage. If Fugaku knew about Sakura's skills that were obviously very similar to the effects of the Sharingan, the man would want to remove her as a threat. Or covet her powers for the clan itself.</p><p>"And your father?" She asked, voice completely flat, making Itachi narrow his eyes at her question. <em>She knew.</em></p><p>"Maybe you should ask Sasuke about that."</p><p>The girl face shifted to give him an amused smile, "It's all right, Uchiha-san. I think I have an idea but Sasuke most likely doesn't. I don't want to burden him with unimportant issues."</p><p>Although he slightly disagreed with her definition of 'unimportant', he let the issue go and allowed the silence to reign over them for a few moments as they enjoyed the tranquility that the gardens offered.</p><p>It was surprisingly Sakura had broken it, "You have questions."</p><p>"Your technique is… very impressive."</p><p>"Thank you," She said with a small smile that seemed genuine enough and took a sip of her tea, "I made it with the Sharingan in mind," Answering his earlier questions of it being similar to his family's techniques. He briefly wondered if she knew that he'd been thinking about its similarities to his family's own techniques.</p><p>Itachi glanced at her face and her eyes betrayed no feeling whatsoever so he asked, "Why?</p><p>"I needed to be the best," She said simply, "And to be the best, I had to be better than both you and Kakashi."</p><p>Itachi blinked, processing the words that his current companion said. He and Hatake Kakashi had a lot of things in common. Prodigies borne of a bloodier time, both had graduated and entered the elite at an early age. Although he had to admit what had given both of them an additional edge in their missions was their mastery of the Sharingan, which was unheard of in Kakashi's case since he was not an Uchiha, while Itachi's expert use of the doujutsu was unparalleled in his clan.</p><p>"We are competent regardless of the Sharingan."</p><p>He watched as Sakura took another sip of tea, "So am I. I entered ANBU before I even conceptualized the technique."</p><p>"Why did you join ANBU?" He doubted that the girl subjected herself to the brutal missions due to some competition between the three of them that she had imagined herself in. It would be something that he would expect from her two former teammates but Haruno Sakura seemed more intelligent than that.</p><p>Sakura turned to face him, her head tilted slightly to the side, her eyes full of question, "I would've thought you already knew."</p><p>"I have a guess," She had been too quick to accept another mission after her very first one. She was a medic, she knew the risks that back-to-back missions without any rests in between would hold yet she jumped at the offer of another assignment when the Commander mentioned giving it to another agent.</p><p>"Let's hear it, then," She said with a small smile.</p><p>Every time he spoke to her, whether she was Fox or herself, Itachi felt like she was privy to some secret that he desperately wanted to find out. It was disconcerting.</p><p>"You are trying to protect Hatake Kakashi."</p><p>Her smile widened a bit, just enough to show pearly white teeth, "That's almost accurate,"</p><p>"What would be more accurate then?"</p><p>Her face suddenly took on a more somber note before she let out a weary sigh, "Did you know that I was the medic assigned to your team when you came back from Lightning six months ago?"</p><p>Itachi remembered that mission. It was hard to forget since both he and Hatake Kakashi barely managed to make it back to Konoha after being incapacitated by a poison so effective they both stayed in a coma a week after they arrived in the hospital. It wasn't really an experience he'd like to recall.</p><p>"I was terrified. After that happened, I wanted to join ANBU as a medical ninja, hoping to be placed in your team. Even in the field, I can heal fatal injuries perfectly and extract dangerous poison like nothing. I thought it would be easy," She continued, "I guess when I got in, I didn't expect everything else that came after so I had to adjust my plans."</p><p>It was true that a medical ninja of Haruno Sakura's level would have no problem getting accepted into ANBU, especially with the Godaime's training. She would have been a perfect addition to any ANBU team that was lucky enough to benefit from her skills if it had gone the way she had planned, minimizing any casualties that they would incur and the additional power that she could dole out would have done wonders for missions that required brute strength.</p><p>But the Commander was most likely the part of the equation that she did not take into account. He couldn't blame her. He himself has never spoken with the man, so he couldn't really explain the eccentricities of the elusive ninja.</p><p>"You intend to replace him instead?"</p><p>She graced him with another small smile that was still rather sad but a smile nonetheless. Itachi had never been one to be delighted at the approval of others but her slightly positive affirmation of his guess made him feel things he was not familiar with, "Something like that."</p><p>"I doubt the Hokage would assign you to lead Team Ro," Hatake Kakashi's leadership skills were unparalleled, even among the elite. So much so that the Uchiha were not against Itachi being placed in his care despite their personal dislike of the man.</p><p>"That's true. Honestly, it's been pretty hard. I'm still working around my own weaknesses," She said, "But I think I've steered him away from some close calls, at least."</p><p>And she most likely had.</p><p>He did wonder several months ago why there had been a lack of solo assignments. He didn't miss them but he understood the necessity and he was usually assigned three or more a month. After their talk with the Hokage, he took quick look at her mission record despite the trouble he had to go through to access her files and understood why.</p><p>Haruno Sakura had been completing more than one solo assignment a week. It was reckless and it would get her killed.</p><p>"He will feel guilty."</p><p>The pink-haired girl's face looked resigned, "I know, but I'm a very selfish person."</p><p>"Selfish?" He asked.</p><p>Based on her motivations alone, the young woman in front of him was self-sacrificing to the point of insanity. She was risking her life to take on the most dangerous missions that ANBU had to offer so her loved ones could be spared from danger. Itachi could respect that kind of devotion. He would throw away everything should any of his important people be put at risk as well.</p><p>"I'm not brave enough to stay safe in Konoha. I want to keep my people safe even if it means that they'll be worried. I can't share the burden," He watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath to calm down, "The day Kakashi returned from Lightning barely alive, I nearly went crazy. I—I can't do it."</p><p>"While your rate of success is truly impressive," And it was, there had been no failed mission on her record, "There are still others who can finish the mission without significant risk."</p><p>"Like you?"</p><p>"I occasionally take solos as well, yes." And his success rate could rival her own. He was a prodigy after all. The genius shinobi that the infamous Uchiha Clan raised with high expectations who could only be perfect. He was expected and <em>obligated</em> to survive everything they threw at him just for the sake of the clan's honor. When he thought about it that way, it sounded horrible even in his own mind.</p><p>He was suprised to find earnest green eyes staring directly into his own as she spoke, "But you're important to me too."</p><p>Her statement caught him off guard and he felt his own eyes widen at her statement.</p><p>"Sasuke loves you and that's enough to make you important to me as well."</p><p>Uchiha Itachi was rarely rendered speechless, but at that moment he didn't feel like the genius that everyone was making him out to be. She looked at him and for some reason he could tell that she knew he could make mistakes like everyone else, like he was allowed to disappoint. She looked at him like he was human. And she looked at him like she couldn't afford to lose him if he did.</p><p>A feeling in his chest was making itself known.</p><p>And just like every discovery he made regarding Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Itachi couldn't understand.</p><p>But he promised himself he would.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not sure if it's moving too fast. But Itachi's feelings are a bit complicated to write. He finds Sakura more of a curiosity at this point. It's not really love, more of unfamiliar feelings brought on by new experiences that she causes, such as being seen as something other than the perfect ninja and what not.</p><p>Honestly, I had the whole fic planned out with a simple plot but the whole thing is getting a bit more complicated as the story progresses. But oh well, we'll get through this! I do enjoy writing it so it's not really a bad thing for now if the story does end up extending than the initial timeline.</p><p>Let me know your thoughts!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Realizations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I finally had the time to write this. T.T</p><p>Work has been crazy; hence, the late update. Life's pretty much the same too. I actually already wrote this two times before but lost the file when my laptop kept on crashing. Honestly, I'm so tired of being an adult. Huhu. I actually wrote this to procrastinate over a report I had to do because I was so stressed and honestly, this is the best stress reliever!</p><p>There are some mental health issues that will be tackled here but I didn't go too in depth because I'm not an expert. Whatever's written down has been taken from articles off of the internet. Google is our friend. Hehe.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto</p><p>Warning: Depictions of mental health and trauma</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke subtly shifted his eyes to glance at the girl that sat quietly beside him whilst she read her book.</p><p>It had been two weeks ago when Sakura had told him that she’d be taking a short vacation from her ANBU missions. A pleasant surprise to be sure but there was this feeling of slight foreboding, which made him feel that this was just the calm before a raging storm. And despite the fact that they were now currently enjoying a quiet afternoon in his family’s sitting room, the anxiety was slowly creeping in his veins.</p><p>“How long was your vacation again?”</p><p>Without looking up from her reading, she answered, “A little more than a month, I think. Are you sick of me already?” Her voice was teasing, a rarity now because the girl had been dead on her feet the more times than Sasuke was comfortable with to do anything other than converse tiredly.</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” It might have been the weird mood that he was feeling the longer her vacation lasted but that sounded harsher than he meant it to be.</p><p>At his tone, Sakura looked up from her book, suddenly very serious, “You know I can go back to my own place, right?”</p><p>Sasuke sighed. No matter how many times he told her to stay, Sakura always seemed to think that he was pushing her away. Although thinking about it, he really couldn’t blame her. After all, he was the one who spent majority of their childhood telling the girl to leave him alone because she was annoying.</p><p>He realized it was probably a good thing that he didn’t really talk much since every word he said always bit him back in the ass.</p><p>“I was the one who asked you stay here. Don’t be stupid.”</p><p>Sakura stared at him, green eyes scanning as if weighing his sincerity, before promptly lowering her head to look at the pages of her book. He opened his mouth to reaffirm his statement when a familiar voice rang out in the house, “Sasuke-chan!”</p><p>Sasuke almost groaned out loud. All hope for a peaceful day at home gone out the window.</p><p>“You’re back?” He asked out loud, just as the loudest Uchiha since the dawn of time practically skipped into the room. Sasuke twitched with slight irritation.</p><p>“My mission had to end sometime, you know. You make it sound—” The older boy stopped his dramatic rant when his eyes focused on the girl beside Sasuke, “Oh. Sakura-chan, you’re here!” Sasuke noticed the spark of recognition in his cousin’s eyes with concealed surprise. A quick look at Itachi showed that his older brother also hadn’t been expecting that his best friend was well-acquainted with Sakura.</p><p>“Ah,” Sakura almost looked uncomfortable, her eyes shifting between the three males in the room, “Hello.”</p><p>Shisui’s eyes seemed to light up with some inside joke, “You can call me Shisui.”</p><p>Sasuke raised a brow. She didn’t know his name?</p><p>She blinked, “Shisui-san?”</p><p>The older boy made an exaggerated displeased face, “Just Shisui, okay? Shisui-san makes me sound respectable!”</p><p>Despite his curiosity, Sasuke snorted.</p><p>“Anyway,” The eldest Uchiha in the room began, “Since I missed my baby cousins so much, let’s go eat something nice!”</p><p>The three of them—Sasuke, Sakura and Itachi—only stared at him before Sakura spoke, “I’ll take my leave then,” Sasuke heard the girl say as she made a move to grasp his hand and gave it a small squeeze.</p><p>He didn’t really want her to go. He had been looking forward to spending his day off with her in peace but as much as he didn’t want to admit it out loud, he did miss his cousin and hadn’t been spending much time with his brother too so maybe this would be a good thing. At the back of his mind, he realized that he’d been spending most of his time outside of training with his female teammate, automatically searching for her when every time he was dismissed from headquarters.</p><p>He squeezed her small hand back as a temporary goodbye.</p><p>Or at least he tried to because apparently, Shisui had no respect for personal boundaries even for those not part of their family and had tugged the pink-haired girl towards him with an arm around her shoulders before she could even try to leave and grinned, “What are you talking about, Sakura-chan? You’re coming with us!”</p><p>If he wasn’t so affronted by his cousin’s lack of manners, Sasuke would have snickered at the look of confusion and discomfort on Sakura’s face. Her eyes flitting from the older Uchiha still holding on to her then to him and to Itachi while simultaneously trying to edge away from his cousin, “I—uh—er, sure?”</p><p>It had been an hour later when they all found themselves seated in an exclusive room at a nearby teahouse that his family frequented. Shisui was still animatedly talking to Sakura about his last mission while he and Itachi quietly listened in their seats. Despite growing up with his cousin, it still amazed Sasuke how much Shisui could talk. His energy and friendliness was really an anomaly in their clan, where most members preferred to keep to themselves.</p><p>“Go with me on the next one?” He heard Shisui ask his teammate, while his face held a smirk that Shisui probably thought was seductive directed at Sakura, who only blinked, “I wouldn’t mind getting stuck in Wind Country for seven months if your pretty face was there.”</p><p>He was a terrible flirt too. And if he wasn’t so damned talented, the clan would have probably been more scandalized than they were.</p><p>“Um, if they’ll let me,” Sakura said meekly, obviously not knowing how to handle the more outgoing older ninja.</p><p>Deciding that he should probably save her from his cousin, Sasuke finally spoke, “How did you two meet anyway?”</p><p>Her face looking almost relieved at the change of topic, “Shisui-san, accompanied me on some errands a while back.”</p><p>Sasuke saw Itachi turn to their cousin, a curious glint in his eye and surprised Sasuke when he asked, “What kind of errands?”</p><p>“Yup!” Shisui smirked and taunted, “Jealous, cousins? I followed Sakura-chan around a lot!”</p><p>Sasuke twitched. Following a girl ten years his junior was highly inappropriate and he was about to give Shisui hell for stalking his teammate like some creep when a knock on the only window in the room caught all of their attention. A messenger from the Hokage stood outside on the sill, holding a small scroll.</p><p>“Haruno Sakura?” The brown-haired man announced, looking at the only female in the room.</p><p>Sakura accepted the scroll and briefly ran her eyes through the contents before standing up, “Tsunade-sama is looking for me.”</p><p>Shisui whined, “But Sakura-chan! I just got back! Who knows when I’ll be sent out again?” <em>Hopefully, soon.</em> Sasuke thought with not a bit of irritation. Really, he loved his family but Shisui was starting to become overbearing.</p><p>Deciding to ignore his cousin, he turned his head to look at Sakura. Trying to convey the question of what the Hokage wanted with her while she was on <em>vacation</em>.</p><p>“It’s not a mission,” Sakura supplied, catching his gaze, “At least not yet. I’ll see you guys later,” She gave a brief nod of goodbye to the three men in the room.</p><p>Sasuke watched as Sakura leapt out of the window after the messenger before he decided to observe the two other members of his family. The looks Itachi and Shisui were giving Sakura were enough to make him raise a brow in question. Shisui looked a tad too serious, while Itachi sported a face full of inquisitiveness that it had surprised him.</p><p>“Shisui, how do you really know Haruno-san?” Itachi quietly asked without moving his gaze from the window where his teammate exited.</p><p>Shisui fingered the rim of the cup that had been placed in front of him, “She wasn’t lying. I really did accompany her during her errands. I was her ANBU guard.”</p><p>Sasuke’s brows shot up in question. Sakura had her own guard? Only the Hokage and the elders were ever assigned an ANBU guard as far as he knew. Naruto was a special case and the last time he checked, Sakura didn’t have an overpowered fox stuck inside of her.</p><p>As if sensing the question in the air, Shisui continued, “Sakura-chan’s special.”</p><p>“Special?”</p><p>“Medical ninja are pretty rare, you know? And well, medical ninja who can heal an entire army mid-battle even more so.”</p><p>It almost didn't surprise him anymore when his brother was the one to ask, “Is this about the Yin Seal?”</p><p>The diamond on her forehead? Sasuke had never deigned to ask her about the technique. She just briefly mentioned learning a difficult technique from the Hokate during a team dinner when Naruto visited one day and never spoke of it again. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he and Naruto never really asked her about her skills.</p><p>“I can’t really go into the specifics. But if Konoha was invaded and the Hokage was indisposed, Haruno Sakura is the only person who can keep us alive long enough to defend it.”</p><p>-x-</p><p>Uchiha Itachi stood by his Captain’s hospital bed, a frown marring his face.</p><p>While Hatake Kakashi was undoubtedly one of the most powerful shinobi in the village, the man had a penchant for landing himself in the hospital every time he went out on a mission, even more when he was by himself. The chronic chakra exhaustion brought about by the Sharingan the most likely cause rather than any difficulty during his excursions. The eye was more of a parasite than a help for the older man.</p><p>He had just bid his goodbye to his cousin and little brother to pick up a whetstone at the market when Genma appeared to inform him of Kakashi’s status. Naturally, he decided to just go straight to the hospital to see what had happened only to find the man sleeping from severe chakra depletion.</p><p>Maybe, Sakura was right to worry about this man.</p><p>Speaking of Sakura, the girl hadn't returned from her summons by the time their visit at the teahouse ended and his little brother had been getting irritated by the second. He and Shisui had stared amused as Sasuke gruffly ordered takeout for the girl, almost scaring the poor server assigned to them. Although he didn’t really regret her leaving because of the intriguing information that Shisui had willingly offered in her place.</p><p>Apparently, the girl was more valuable than he originally thought if she warranted a personal guard to be assigned to her. He had never been assigned to her as he was a permanent member of  Team Ro but he vaguely recalled other ANBU agents referring to her as Sakura-hime as a joke and wondered if this was the reason. Despite the fact that there was no real malice behind it since anyone in ANBU couldn’t really be spiteful of the girl who saved their lives on the daily, Itachi couldn’t help but think that it was still made in bad taste.</p><p>
  <em>Speak of the devil.</em>
</p><p>He felt her chakra signature before she entered the room and watched as she quickly grabbed the clipboard on the table by the bed. The girl was white as paper, all the color from her face drained while her fingers trembled. He felt the need to reassure her, “They said it was just chakra exhaustion.”</p><p>Sakura turned to him as if surprised he was there, not really noticing him when she entered. Still not speaking a word, she placed a glowing hand on her former teacher’s chest. Most likely running her own diagnostic on the unconscious man.</p><p>After a few minutes, he watched her shoulders sag in <em>slight</em> relief. The tension was still there and her trembling hands still continued to shake as she searched for Kakashi's hand before she found her target and held on tight to the limp appendage with her own.</p><p>“I should’ve gone,” He heard her say, voice tinged regret and a hint of panic, “I should have gone,” She repeated once more as her hands that held on to Hatake Kakashi’s like a lifeline shook.</p><p>“It was not assigned to you,” It was the only thing he could say. He did not know how to comfort someone who looked like they were about to cry. Sasuke had always been a special case, mostly because his little brother understood all of his actions without him having to explain it.</p><p>Sakura sighed, before she started chewing at her lip while squeezing the hand she held as if trying to remind herself that Kakashi was real, “It was,” She admitted, her face grimacing and he could see the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes, “I had to—I had to decline the mission because I needed to store chakra for the seal.”</p><p>Itachi remained silent. Mostly because he didn’t know what to tell her.</p><p>Even he could tell that she was already exhibiting symptoms of a very bad panic attack and Itachi, for the life of him, didn’t know what to do. With his exposure to violence and societal pressure at a very young age, he wasn’t exactly the paragon of mental health.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have hesitated,” Her voice started becoming more hysterical the more she said, “Now he’s here and that should be me and—what do I do—” She fell to her knees beside the bed and Itachi automatically, moved to try and help her but froze when the beginning of a genjutsu began to envelop the room, blurring but never really changing the landscape.</p><p>Itachi felt himself automatically reach for his weapons holster but stopped himself mid-movement when he noticed that it was her chakra that was casting the illusion. He turned to look back at the young girl and the scene gave him pause.</p><p>She was staring at Kakashi’s hands, her own flexing and unflexing as if her subconscious was constantly trying to remind her not to break it with the monstrous strength she was also famous for but her eyes looked like she was staring at something faraway instead and Itachi could hear an echo of a voice that reminded him of Sasuke’s that began to speak,  “You’re okay, Sakura. Kakashi’s here. He’s home.”</p><p>The girl’s pupils dilated, almost looking like she was hypnotized, “He’s okay?” Her voice whimpered sounding unsure, very much like a frightened child.</p><p>“He’s okay. He’s just tired,” He heard the familiar voice whisper in the room.</p><p>Itachi’s eyes narrowed. Despite being deemed a master of illusions himself, Itachi had never heard of anyone using a genjutsu technique on themselves and he would need to look into it. For one thing, he wasn’t even sure if it was even safe, especially after hearing her own explanations of her proficiency with the art.</p><p>Her voice tore him away from his thoughts, “I should’ve just let them do the chakra transfusion,” She whispered as she slumped her head on the edge of the bed, all the subtle signs of the previous illusionary technique gone but whatever it was supposed to seemed to be effective as the pink-haired girl seemed more calm.</p><p>“A chakra transfusion?” He asked in slight confusion.</p><p>Chakra transfusions were rarely every used in practice. They were painful and uncomfortable for the ninja receiving foreign chakra, even more so when the affinities didn’t match. Itachi personally, never had one so he couldn’t vouch if it was true but the logic behind the conclusion seemed sound and if he had to guess, foreign energy running rampant in your body would undoubtedly feel invasive.</p><p>“They said they’d let me go on missions but a chakra transfusion would be necessary,” She explained, every word held her regret at not taking the opportunity.</p><p>Itachi stared at her, the pieces slowly falling into place, “Is this why you were summoned earlier? They offered it again?”</p><p>“Yes,” She surprisingly admitted, the stress of seeing her former teacher—one of the important people she’d been trying her best to protect—lying still in the bed, making her a little more generous with information, “It was either that or they seal me so I don’t use chakra at all.”</p><p>No chakra on an ANBU mission would have been suicide. <em>She was never given a choice.</em></p><p>“It will be painful,” He stated despite knowing what she has already decided, “There are no other assignments.”</p><p>“I know,” He heard her say with resignation, “And there will always be another mission.”</p><p>In his mind, he agreed. This was their life as shinobi of their village. The missions never really ended and peace was never constant. This shouldn’t come as a surprise since their occupation thrived on war and violence but one can’t help but wish for the impossible so he could only voice his own thoughts, “Yes, there will always be another mission.”</p><p>He saw her close her eyes, her face looking older than her present age, “And If I don’t go, you’ll be next.”</p><p>-x-</p><p>It had been a week since his great escape from the prison that everyone called a hospital. Kakashi felt a little bad for the new nurse assigned to him that he ran out on but she should have been warned about him by now anyway. He was notorious among the staff for running away from the hospital the moment they removed his IV drip and it came to the point that the more experienced nurses don’t even bother to discharge him anymore, knowing that he had probably jumped to freedom from the window of his hospital room.</p><p>Besides, he had more important matters to focus on right now, like his self-assigned mission to find his surprisingly more headache inducing former student.</p><p>Among the three younger members of Team Seven, he wouldn’t deny that Sakura had been his favorite by default. Most likely because she caused the least amount of trouble. Sasuke, with his elitist attitude and obsessive brother worship, had been a nightmare and while Naruto was a ball of sunshine, everyone could say there was always <em>too</em> <em>much</em> sunshine.</p><p>And despite her infatuation with the other member of their former team and physical weakness during their younger years, Sakura was smart, logical and adaptable. She knew when to push and she knew when a tactical retreat was necessary when faced with a stronger opponent. Honestly, if he had been asked to seriously evaluate his students at the time, Sakura would probably the fittest to be a ninja if he knew she'd lighten up with her obsession with the Uchiha boy, most especially compared to Sasuke’s pride that the boy could never seem to throw away and Naruto’s strong belief that enemies would someday become his friends.</p><p>When she started training with the Hokage, the skills that she had been sorely lacking as a child suddenly made their appearance and everyone could see that she was slowly starting to bloom as a shinobi. Everyone praised the young girl like she was a prodigy and to some extent, Kakashi had to agree. He’d never heard of anyone surpassing their master within a year and that had been the Hokage’s assessment. She had taken to medical ninjutsu like a fish to water.</p><p>Never in his life would Kakashi have imagined that her path to becoming a medical ninja would result in this catastrophe.</p><p>And while he acknowledged her skills, he could safely say that he didn’t understand her thoughts. He couldn’t fathom why the young female would decide to dip her toes in the bloody business of ANBU that would get her killed at the rate she was going. He wanted to pull out his hair when he checked her files. He remembered clenching his jaw so hard that he actually checked if he cracked a tooth as he looked at the photo of his student that stared back at him from the file in his hands.</p><p>
  <em>Who in their right mind would do eleven solos in one month?</em>
</p><p>At the back of his head, he did realize that they really didn’t have the option to say ‘no’ without good reason when they wore the mask.</p><p>The mystery of what his student had gotten herself into kept invading his head and like any other problem that he didn’t know how to solve, he resorted to the only coping mechanism he knew. He ignored it—<em>her—</em>as best as he could, which had been increasingly difficult due to her current working relationship with Team Ro.</p><p>However, now that he’s had a week of being locked up in the hospital to contemplate about the motivations of the pink-haired kunoichi, he decided that this wasn’t going to do at all. He couldn’t avoid her forever and he’s been far too long in this business to not know that if didn’t go to her now, there’s a possibility that he may never get the chance again. So with a new kind of resolve, he decided to look for her.</p><p>Now, if only the said girl wasn’t so goddamned hard to find.</p><p>It wasn’t as if he wasn’t trying to0. He’d been searching for her for the better part of two days already with nothing to show for and now, only sheer desperation was allowing him to throw away his pride as a tracker to hound his other former student for more information.</p><p>He was about to raise his hand to knock at the front door of the Uchiha’s main house when it opened it’s own revealing the face of the exact person he was looking for.</p><p>Sasuke looked at him suspiciously, “Kakashi,” He greeted, voice low but his next statement caught him off guard, “I’m not buying you lunch.”</p><p>He almost opened his mouth to quickly deny the accusation, slightly offended at the young man’s words, when he belatedly realized that he couldn’t even remember how many times he skipped the bill when dining with the members of his old team. Deciding that the best defense was offense, he took on a teasing tone and made sure that his eyes creased in the smile that he knew riled up most people, “But you buy Sakura lunch all the time.”</p><p>It didn’t have the intended effect, however, and he saw Sasuke’s eyes narrow even further, “When did you start calling her ‘Sakura’?”</p><p>That gave him pause.</p><p>When <em>did </em>he start referring to her as only ‘Sakura’? Despite his insistence that the three of them refer to him by his given name, when the young woman actually stopped calling him ‘sensei’ during their last mission together had been a hard pill to swallow. Thinking about it, it might have been because of what the situation meant.</p><p>He had nothing more to teach her, if he had ever taught her anything to begin with. Walking up a tree hardly counted as the girl did it on the first try with the most minimal instruction, if he could even call telling her to stick her chakra to the tree that.</p><p>In hindsight, he had been a terrible teacher to her. Immediately hoisting her off to the next willing individual only because he had no idea how to deal with a prepubescent girl. But that was the past, and even if he had never been a teacher to her, he was at least going to be a good friend.</p><p>And it only took one near-death experience to realize that. <em>What an improvement.</em></p><p>Mentally shaking himself out of his thoughts, he returned his gaze to the young Uchiha in front of him, who was now staring him intently before stating, “You went on a mission with her.”</p><p>As much as Kakashi would love to discuss highly-classified mission at the front porch of the clan head’s house in the Uchiha district, Kakashi decided to just ask him directly, his pride be damned, “Where’s Sakura?”</p><p>“She left more than a week ago,” Sasuke said still staring at him but a look of exasperation—and was that worry?—slowly made itself known on the younger man’s face, “Let’s go.”</p><p>He watched as Sasuke closed the front door of his family’s home and started making his way in the direction of Sakura’s apartment with him following closely behind.</p><p>“I already checked there. No one was home.”</p><p>Sasuke looked at him, probably a bit surprised that he knew where they all lived. Kakashi almost rolled his eyes, he wasn’t that bad of a teacher.</p><p>“Did you check inside?”</p><p>“No,” he answered. He didn’t have a key to her house so he had to rely on his slightly above average sensor skills to know if anyone was actually inside the house. Sure, he could break in through a window but Kakashi valued his own privacy enough to know that he wouldn’t appreciate it if someone decided that they should sneak into his own home.</p><p>“Her apartment is sealed,” Kakashi raised a brow and Sasuke continued, his face a bit hesitant, “Sakura’s… been a bit strange the past few months."</p><p>Kakashi was about to ask what he meant by that when he realized they were already at her front door. Sasuke proceeded to open the door with a key that he pulled out from his own pocket, surprising Kakashi that the two had been close enough to allow Sasuke to freely access to her home but he briefly remembered the Hokage informing his team that Sakura had been staying over at the Uchiha compound during her days off. That had been a surprise too.</p><p>The moment Kakashi stepped through the threshold of the apartment, he felt the large mass of chakra that swirled restlessly just behind another door that led to what he would guess was Sakura’s bedroom. He stilled, the tension in his body rising.</p><p><em>Reckless.</em> His mind shouted when he realized what Sakura had done.</p><p>And only Sasuke’s movement was what snapped him out of stupor, when the Uchiha opened the door.</p><p>Sakura was lying completely still, face first onto the mattress of the bed, still dressed in her standard ANBU uniform that was still dirty and soaked with blood from her last assignment, while her mask lay on the floor with a still bloody katana that Kakashi had seen for the first time, as if she carelessly tossed them there before passing out.</p><p>He heard him sigh and move forward quickly, unintentionally revealing his worry.</p><p>“Sakura,” Sasuke called while Kakashi watched a few feet away from the bed. He watched as the Uchiha carefully moved her to lie on her back, not even minding the blood that soiled his teammate’[s body and clothes, letting him know that this might be a regular occurrence.</p><p>His eyes strayed to the weapon on the floor and underneath all the red, he could still tell.</p><p>
  <em>Chakra steel. Well-forged.</em>
</p><p>Very expensive and very deadly.</p><p>Metal that could conduct high amounts of chakra was extremely valuable and very rare that shinobi families would hand them down as heirlooms. He should know, his family owns one of the few weapons made just like it. He didn’t even know if there still any chakra steel that could be mined now, especially since it became such a hot commodity during the previous wars.</p><p>“Sasuke?” He heard a soft murmur. He turned his head to the sight of Sakura raised her hand weakly while the male she called automatically held onto it without a nary of hesitation. Kakashi suddenly felt like an intruder.</p><p>“Home?” She asked weakly.</p><p>“Your apartment,” Sasuke answered, “You said you were on vacation,” His voice almost sounded accusing.</p><p>“Ah, I thought so too. Just tired,” She slurred before her glazed eyes closed again.</p><p>He took a moment to observe her. Her face was extremely pale, which made her the dark circles underneath her eyes even starker while whatever skin her uniform exposed was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. <em>It made his blood boil.</em></p><p>His mind whirred in a mix of confusion and anger. He was barely restraining himself from marching over to her and shaking her awake to ask what she was fucking thinking to get a chakra transfusion. There was a reason ninja didn’t commonly use them for god’s sake.</p><p>Chakra transfusions were dangerous if the receiving body rejected the foreign energy and could result in destroyed coils and a barely functional chakra system. He’s had them done enough times on himself to know how painful it was and how difficult it would be for the human body to function with someone else's energy running through them.</p><p>“Kakashi, I have training,” He heard Sasuke say as the younger man passed by him on his way to the front door, “I’ll come back later,” And proceeded to exit the home, closing the door quietly behind him, leaving Kakashi with the female still slumbering in her bed covered in the blood of her enemies.</p><p>He ran a hand through his hair to alleviate his frustrations and decided to clean up since he was already here anyway. After all the effort he put into looking for her, he wasn’t leaving until he spoke to her.</p><p>After spending the afternoon mopping up the blood that she had carried into the bedroom, he was in the process of taking out some meat from her freezer for her to eat later on when he heard a door close and the shower in the bathroom run. She was finally awake and her chakra seemed calmer despite the heavy undertones of a different person’s energy entwining with her own.</p><p>He took a seat at the kitchen table and stared at the piece of paper where a Hiraishin seal was drawn.</p><p>He had found it by her bedside table where he placed her newly cleaned mask and didn’t think too much of it and just grabbed it to remind himself to ask her how she learned his old teacher’s technique. The seal itself was completely different, but he knew enough about fuinjutsu to know that the purpose was the same.</p><p>But now, now that he sat before it, thoughts of why she learned the technique in the first place crossed his mind. Truthfully, Sakura didn’t need to be quicker, she was already very agile with the Hokage painfully training her ability to move fast enough to even best him. It was vital for a medic to be able to dodge on reflex and quickness was a big factor for that.</p><p>
  <em>More than ten missions a month and with locations so far apart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hiraishin.</em>
</p><p>She had been using Hiraishin to grab all the missions she could, shortening her travel time.</p><p>The realization began to sink in. She hadn't been forced to go on those solos. The idiot had been voluntarily grabbing all the highly dangerous missions for herself. The rage that had gone down to a simmer while she slept came back with a vengeance and it was all he could do not to march in her bathroom to confront her about this.</p><p>Kakashi took a calming breath, trying his best to contain his temper with regard to the situation as his disciplined patience slowly slipping away all because of a 20-year old girl with a fucking death wish.</p><p>He heard a door open and watched as Sakura emerged from the bedroom, not a speck of blood in sight and in fresh clothes that looked like one of Sasuke’s old shirts and her own shorts. She took a moment to look at him and then proceeded to go to the counter where he placed still thawing meat, and some vegetables that could make a decent stirfry.</p><p>“Sakura,” His called, his voice low and sounding dangerous even to his own ears.</p><p>Sakura tilted her head up to look at him as she began to unpack the vegetables from their packages, “Kakashi.”</p><p>“How did you learn the Hiraishin?”</p><p>She tilted her head to the side, as if surprised by his question. Perhaps she had expected him to ask something else. Despite this, she still answered, “From the Niidaime’s old notes.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>The realization dawned at her face at the question, and she didn’t even miss a beat to respond, “To save time. It’s more efficient this way.”</p><p>Of all the things he expected her to say, he didn’t expect her to tell him the truth.</p><p>She continued as she pulled out a kitchen knife from a draw, “I’m sure you’ve seen my file.”</p><p>“Sakura—<em>Why?</em>”</p><p>She glanced up at him she sliced carrots, “You ask that a lot.”</p><p>“Because I don’t understand. I don’t—“ He stopped himself and took another breath. It wouldn’t do to lose his temper now, “I don’t understand why you think this is necessary.”</p><p>“I think it would be better if I showed you.”</p><p>Faster than he could blink, his vision changed. He was in Konoha hospital, in a room where the walls were lined with shelves filled with medical tomes and the strong smell of antiseptic permeated his nose. He glanced down at the table to see a small nameplate where ‘Haruno Sakura’ had been engraved. He was in her office. He looked at the hands that had reached out to feel the desk in front of him. <em>Pale and feminine</em>. Sakura's hands. She had let him inside her head.</p><p>It was then the flashes of memories came.</p><p>Of him—<em>Sakura—</em>being called for an emergency.</p><p>Of Kakashi—<em>him</em>—on an operating table barely alive. The heartbeat so faint and slow that he felt Sakura’s fear creep up her throat.</p><p>Of him—<em>Sakura</em>—trying her best to save Itachi too because no one else could. Not even the Hokage had been successful and the blonde woman’s face had been lined with frustration and apology as she dragged his—<em>Sakura’s</em>—body to the other operating room where she scraped her reserves raw to bring back the Uchiha heir to life.</p><p>Of the poison that had ravaged their bodies attacking their systems with their own chakra. New and unfamiliar, he—<em>Sakura</em>—resorted to try burning every bit of the poison in his body with raw chakra because it had been too integrated into his system by now to extract. It was dangerous and required so much chakra that she almost died to save the both of them but he—<em>she</em>—had been desperate because even one more second of this would have killed him—<em>Kakashi</em>.</p><p>“No,” He heard Sakura’s voice whisper and he felt hands cup his face, he could even feel the aches of chakra depletion in her illusion and it would have amazed him if he hadn’t been so absorbed in what was happening, “No, I can’t do this.”</p><p>More flashes came.</p><p>Kakashi—<em>him</em>—beaten black and blue and impaled with a sword.</p><p>Itachi bloody and broken in a heap on the forest floor and where his eyes had been, there were empty hollows that dripped blood instead.</p><p>Sasuke lying so still on the ground, eyes closed and very obviously dead.</p><p><em>No</em>no<em>no</em>no<em>no. </em>He heard her think.</p><p>“It’s okay,” She heard her whisper to herself, breathing heavily and gripping at her head so hard he wondered if she had cut her skin with her nails, “They’re alive. They’re here.”</p><p>And like a mantra, she heard her whisper those two sentences over and over again.</p><p>His vision changed.</p><p>He was outside a cave and a small glance back into depths of the cavern, he realized it was Sakura’s first mission. He could feel the exhaustion that lined her body and a sudden stab of pain at her should, only to look at it and find no wound their anymore but a simple phantom pain of where he knew she had been stabbed.</p><p>The flashes started again. The same images from before that featured himself, Itachi and Sasuke that had haunted Sakura’s mind.</p><p>He felt her breath shorten as the beginnings of a very serious panic began to well up within her and he heard her whispers begin, “It’s okay. They’re alive. They’re at home.”</p><p>The flashes of memories wouldn’t stop and he was suddenly overwhelmed with nausea and the early signs of a migraine and he heard her whisper again, “<em>They are okay,” </em>She said through clenched teeth, “They’re home and you’re here. You’re the one that got hurt and it’s okay.”</p><p>Kakashi’s mind paused to let her words sink in as Sakura’s body began to move and the vision of her travel faded to the setting of her kitchen.</p><p>His eyes focused on the girl that had resumed chopping the vegetables as if she had not just bared her soul to him because she might as well have. The panic attacks, the very obvious signs of dissociation that he had missed before when she moved as if she wasn’t there. There were also symptoms of PTSD that he clearly missed before but he wasn’t a professional so he didn’t really have an expert opinion.</p><p>Despite that, he was sure that if a psych evaluation was a requirement for their profession, Sakura would have clearly failed.</p><p>“Don’t think too much about it,” Her voice said, distracting him from his thoughts, “It was my choice.”</p><p>He stood up automatically and had taken a few steps towards her, “Sakura, I don’t—“ He had been about to say that she wasn’t in a good place right now and wouldn’t be able to make sound decisions for herself with her many underlying issues but stopped.</p><p>Because honestly speaking, had mental health had been a requirement to be a shinobi, he would have been stripped of his status as an active ninja a long time ago.</p><p>Deciding to ask something different instead, he voiced his question, “Why did they give you a chakra transfusion?”</p><p>Sakura dumped the chopped cabbage into a small bowl, “I chose to get one. And I had it done now, to let the chakra settle before the next assignment.”</p><p>“You could stop going on missions.”</p><p>Kakashi felt almost numb when he saw her give him a look and stated, “I visited you in the hospital.”</p><p>That sentence was all it took to explain everything.</p><p>Kakashi couldn’t stop himself and visibly winced. The guilt beginning to pool in his gut.</p><p>She placed the knife on the counter and took a step towards him, shortening the distance between them further and reached for his hand with both of her own. She raised her eyes to meet his, and behind the green was grim determination, “I won’t allow my precious people to die. I’ll protect you—all of you with my life. Trust me, Kakashi.”</p><p>No one—and he was very sure—would call Hatake Kakashi an emotional man but he felt his knees go weak from another realization that struck him and he could only pull at Sakura’s hands, dragging her against his chest and wrapping his own arms around her to ground himself from the torrent of feelings that assaulted his being. <em>Guilt. Fear. Desperation.</em></p><p>Guilt that he had been the one who brought her to the edge of her sanity, fear of her determination to protect everyone with everything she had and desperation to keep her alive because it seemed that she had resigned herself to die for those she loved.</p><p>Kakashi finally understood her.</p><p>He finally understood that despite teaching her the least, she took his lessons to heart the most.</p><p>And that terrified him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <i>I won’t allow my comrades to die. I’ll protect you with my life. Trust me.- Kakashi Hatake</i>
</p><p> </p><p>So, what Sakura actually said was a quote from Kakashi. Hehe. Just wanted to use it and honestly, seemed pretty fitting for whatever she intended. I love the irony too that she said it to him instead.</p><p>Whew. Shisui was difficult to write. I'm not sure why, maybe because the idea of a friendly Uchiha is just so foreign to me. Haha. Although, I am considering that he take Yugao's place during Team Ro assignments with Sakura.</p><p>So far, I wanted this story to kind of talk about Sakura's journey to being a fearsome ANBU member and her motivations. It's kind of difficult to write it in the eyes of other people who don't even know what the hell happened. Haha. It's a good challenge though. I initially planned leaving Kakashi in the dark for a few more chapters but I realized that the relationship needed the development.</p><p>On another note, is Sasuke's character too much? I'm thinking of toning it down a bit. Although I think outwardly he's still very gruff and anti-social, he's just pretty clingy and too caring in his own thoughts, which I try to tamp down in his actions.</p><p>In any case, kindly let me know what you guys think! The comments really help with the story and make decisions on characterization.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What Konoha Means</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who has left a comment on this story. I'm sorry this took longer than usual but work has been killing me. I actually have an event tomorrow that I'm organizing for work but here I am procrastinating. Please wish me luck. Haha.</p><p>I still have to revise chapter 4 too. T.T</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi almost groaned out loud before he remembered that he wasn’t lying alone in his own bedroom.</p><p>He was laying sideways on an old worn out sofa in the middle of his old student’s apartment. Said student squeezed between him and the backrest of the couch that they occupied.</p><p>Memories of the previous day went through his head and he sighed tiredly as he glanced down at the woman who had been the cause of all his recent distress.</p><p>He felt utterly exhausted. At age 34, he could still beat any ninja at his prime in a physical challenge but less than a day of dealing with emotional baggage—namely his own—was enough to knock him out for the night.</p><p>When Sakura had fallen asleep in his arms, Kakashi had discovered that she had skillfully maneuvered them to sit on the old couch in her living room without him even noticing, too lost in his own emotions and plagued with his own mental issues.</p><p>He had held onto her like she was a lifeline, to ground himself to the present and to remind his mind that she was still here. <em>She was still alive.</em></p><p>He wasn’t too late.</p><p>To her credit, Sakura just let him do what he needed to do and remained silent, which Kakashi appreciated but also worried about her knowledge in dealing with bouts of PTSD. His thoughts about her being haunted by her own demons making him anxious.</p><p>He had always assumed that Sakura being safe in Konoha meant that she would never have cause to experience trauma in her own head but if the vision she had shared to him the previous day was any indication, he had been absolutely wrong.</p><p>A chakra signature just outside of her living room window caught his attention and he felt the girl tucked into his side stiffen. It was slightly comforting that she felt safe enough with him to be able to sleep deeply but the stranger waiting outside was a bit concerning. The person was unfamiliar but he could guess what business Sakura’s visitor would bring.</p><p>Kakashi furrowed his brows from his position on the couch. She just came back from a mission, even seasoned agents were required a minimum number of days to rest before being sent out again.</p><p>“Kakashi,” He heard her say in a placating manner as she slowly untangled herself from his hold and walked closer to the window, where a man with the face of a bird materialized. A messenger.</p><p>“Your presence is required,” The unknown agent murmured to which Sakura answered with a small nod before the man disappeared.</p><p>“You’re going again,” Kakashi stated as blandly as possible, not even bothering to hide his disapproval in the tone of his voice.</p><p>She remained silent and he knew that she was aware he wasn’t happy.</p><p>She disappeared into her bedroom but purposely left her door open, which he took as an invitation to enter. Kakashi never would have thought that the day would come when he would nag someone about their work habits but here they were, “You know I can’t remember the number of times you told me that back-to-back mission are going to kill me one day.”</p><p>“I know,” She simply said, not bothering to spare him a glance as she pulled the black clothing over her head. Watching Sakura strap on her armor was both a surreal and ominous experience.</p><p>When he met the three brats that would form Team Seven, he didn’t expect to one day see them in the uniform that he had worn so frequently as a teenager, the uniform that had been the last thing that his enemies had seen.</p><p>Kakashi sighed in resignation before he made his way over and grabbing the arm guards that he had put aside. The look of surprise on Sakura’s face when he helped her put them on was a bit refreshing, especially since it had been a while that she was the one experiencing the emotion.</p><p>“You can always pass this one over,” He said, “They know you have an important assignment in a little more than a week.”</p><p>He saw her bite her lip, a habit she rarely now exhibited but often enough did as a young girl when she was a bit anxious. He could already feel that he would not like what she was about to say, “They want to see if the chakra transfusion would pose difficulties.”</p><p>Kakashi narrowed his eyes, “On a live mission?”</p><p>“No, just minimal training today,” He audibly sighed in relief but looked at her attire in question. Normally, agents dressed more casually for training.</p><p>“I usually train in full uniform at a different location,” She grabbed her mask before strapping it on to her neck, “I like to keep my participation in ANBU quiet.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Uzuki Yugao.”</p><p>Kakashi furrowed his brows in confusion. He remembered the incident with Yugao during their last mission but he had no idea that Sakura held her opinion so highly, “Yugao?”</p><p>“She’s just an example,” She said as she strapped her sword to her back, “But would you really trust a medic to heal you if they can kill so easily?”</p><p><em>No.</em> His mind supplied but Kakashi kept quiet.</p><p>“I’m ready to go,” She turned to him and to his surprise, held out a hand, “Are you coming?”</p><p>Kakashi stared at her and Sakura stared back, her face looking a bit unsure but without a hint of insincerity.</p><p>Another invitation.</p><p>An invitation to see her world once again and he absolutely had no intention to refuse so he reached out and grasped her hand, “Yeah.”</p><p>Kakashi felt the pull of Hiraishin and closed his eyes in preparation for the nausea that he knew would hit him. And when he opened them again, his world was slightly off balance but he knew immediately where they were.</p><p>The tower in the Forest of Death.</p><p>“This is where I usually train to avoid running into people,” She explained, the Fox mask already in place.</p><p>Kakashi remained silent but internally, he was slightly relieved that she had invited him of her own choice. He already made a plan to quietly tail her when she mentioned training but with the Hiraishin, he wouldn’t have been able to follow her and god knows he wouldn’t have thought to look at Training Ground Forty-Four to find her. The area was sealed off and only made accessible for the chuunin exams.</p><p>“You’re very generous with information today.”</p><p>Sakura tilted her head slightly as if he confused her, “Trust is a two-way thing, isn’t it?”</p><p><em>Trust me, Kakashi.</em> Her words echoed in his head.</p><p>He saw her eyes shift to the center of the arena.</p><p>“You brought a guest,” At the sound of the familiar voice, Kakashi felt himself stiffen when Sakura flickered to  where a familiar brown-haired man stood in the middle of the arena, his face obscured by a dog mask that was unlike his own.</p><p>During his entire tenure in ANBU, he had only met this man a few times but for all of those occasions the man always brought with him a strange atmosphere. It wasn’t even that he made himself outright intimidating. The ANBU Commander had an strange but aggressive presence that made standing in front of him so off-putting, the warning signs in his hand going haywire.</p><p>No chakra signature. No killing intent. Even the mask he wore was blank-faced. Despite that, one could clearly tell his competence as a fighter in the way he holds himself. As if he wasn’t afraid of anything.</p><p>
  <em>The perfect shinobi.</em>
</p><p>“Was I not allowed to?” He heard Sakura ask, her voice sounding as inflectionless as the man. It didn’t suit her. Sakura always spoke so kindly, her voice so comforting even after he discovered her stint as Agent Fox.</p><p>“I suppose I didn’t forbid you. This is your secret to tell, after all,” The ANBU Commander said, “And Hatake has high enough clearance as the Hokage’s pet.”</p><p>He knew that was meant to be a jab at himself but he couldn’t care less. Honestly, he had a few words to tell this man about his treatment of Sakura regardless of his position. Being the Hokage’s <em>pet</em> did have its privileges, this man wasn’t his superior. He could risk offending him if he that was what it took for him to get his paws off of the young woman.</p><p>“I can see that most of the energy has already settled,” He heard the man say.</p><p>“Converting and integrating it with my own is easy enough.” Sakura agreed, “I’ve been circulating a portion of it separately. I would like to try something with it.”</p><p>“Very well,” He said without much surprise, “You can attack.”</p><p>Kakashi watched as Sakura drew her sword. The blade made of the expensive steel glowing with energy, her chakra already dancing at the sharp edge of the weapon. There was something different about the power that ran down the steel though. And upon further inspection, Kakashi noticed it. It was crackling. Like lightning.</p><p>“Interesting,” A voice said beside him, making Kakashi draw a slow but quiet breath to stifle his surprise, “It seems she can still utilize the chakra type of the donor. Maintaining a different person’s chakra in your body separate from your own is unheard of, don’t you agree?”</p><p>A quick subtle glance to his side showed him the ANBU Commander standing tall next to him. Kakashi would have marveled at his skill to conceal his presence and ability to fool even him with a clone. If only his instincts weren’t screaming at him that the character who was standing beside him was <em>extremely</em> dangerous.</p><p>For his part, the ANBU Commander seemed like he couldn’t care less about Kakashi’s presence and only continued to observe Sakura’s ongoing battle with his copy, “It would do well to find other chakra types.”</p><p>Kakashi pressed his lips together in a thin line.</p><p>He was aware that they had recently captured some ninja from Kumo and his mind held no shred of doubt that they were the source of Sakura’s transfusion.</p><p>It was a known fact among higher-ranking nin that the energy from chakra transfusions were from prisoners that had been drained with a special seal. And while the feat Sakura had accomplished truly was something invaluable in combat if he logically thought about it, he was uncomfortable at the implications of what her newly discovered talent held.</p><p>“What are you planning to do with her?”</p><p>“Make use of her potential, of course,” The other man’s word became biting, “Isn’t that what a good teacher should do?”</p><p>He definitely knew what buttons to push and mercilessly continued. “I’m sure you remember that during the war those with the best chakra control were the ones trained extensively. Her control is perfect. Even better than the Hokage’s, which makes me wonder why you decide to focus on… other endeavors.”</p><p>Kakashi couldn’t deny the truth behind his words.</p><p>During the war, the ninja with the better control over their chakra was prioritized in training regardless if they had any inherited family traits or not but Kakashi refused to adhere to the practice when he had been given his genin team.</p><p>They were in peace time and Sakura was the only one of his three students who hadn’t been exposed to the bloody world of being a ninja. Sasuke had been born into a clan that had a long history with war, while Naruto had the most powerful weapon at Konoha’s disposal in his belly.</p><p>And she reminded him too much of his old teammate with her innocent eyes and kind heart.</p><p>At the time, he didn’t know that Sakura would end up making her own story.</p><p>Refusing to rise to the bait, Kakashi evenly said, “My hands were full.”</p><p>“With a doujutsu that has already been rendered useless by <em>my</em> student and the demon container that will soon share the same fate?”</p><p>Kakashi tensed.</p><p>“I’m sure you know how her mind works,” The man said boredly, “She fears what the Kyuubi could do.”</p><p>Surely this man didn’t expect Sakura to be able to subdue the fox, the monster of chakra that caused so many deaths while on a rampage in Konoha. His own sensei had been killed and he was hailed as the genius of his own generation that lived through the bloodiest war.</p><p>“She’ll figure something out soon enough. Chakra manipulation is a terrifying talent and the Kyuubi is simply a manifestation of chakra,” The man continued, “They say people who have nothing to lose are dangerous but they have never met someone who’s afraid to lose <em>everything.</em>”</p><p>Kakashi remained silent.</p><p>“Fox is intelligent and she always feels that she’s never enough, which I think is her best trait. It makes her more determined.”</p><p>Despite his dislike for the man, Kakashi could somewhat appreciate his faith in Sakura’s skills that Kakashi should have when he was her teacher but before he could respond, the man in question already called called, “Fox, genjutsu.”</p><p>Sakura turned to look at them, question in her green eyes. They still looked so eerie to him every time he saw them behind her mask. He didn’t think he would ever get used to it.</p><p>“I’m sure Hatake would be willing to be your guinea pig,” Sakura narrowed her eyes at the man beside him, obviously unwilling to put Kakashi under an illusion but the ANBU commander pressed on, “Wouldn’t you?” It took a while for Kakashi to realize that the question was directed to him. There was an edge to the man’s voice that made his hackles rise because the threat had obviously been directed at Sakura.</p><p>Working to maintain his usual nonchalance, he gave Sakura a nod before lifting his headband to reveal his Sharingan and watched as she hesitated for another second before his surroundings smoothly changed to a familiar restaurant.</p><p>Ichiraku.</p><p>Sakura had been classified as a genjutsu type in the academy but not even knowing that could have prepared him for her genjutsu. Not even Kurenai could cast an illusion of this quality. He wasn’t even sure if a sharingan user could.</p><p>He couldn’t even tell the exact moment when the genjutsu began but he could smell the scent of food in the air. She even accounted for his more sharpened sense of smell when she made sure to let him identify every kind of spice by scent alone. The background noise of the busy streets and other diners rang in his ears as if they were real.</p><p>And when he ran his hands on the table before him, he could feel the worn out wood of the furniture. The bowl of ramen that sat before him was even warm to the touch. If he didn’t know he was in an illusion, he would never have suspected it, even the Sharingan couldn’t pick up any inconsistences.</p><p>The illusion was too <em>real.</em></p><p>It made him uncomfortable so he sent a bolt of chakra to disrupt the genjutsu but the image didn’t even waver. Not for a second. He tried again to no effect. He felt the bubble of panic make its presence known in his chest but a strange sense of relaxation began to wash over him.</p><p>“Ne, Kakashi, what are you doing?” He heard Sakura’s voice say beside him and when he glanced to his side, he finally noticed that they were seated at their usual table while she swirled her noodles, “I thought I told you to trust me.”</p><p>The familiarity of his surroundings partnered with the added feeling of comfort that Sakura’s presence brought, made him feel complacent and he—against his own wishes and the repeated reminders of his own mind that this was a genjutsu and not real—relaxed.</p><p>He blinked once and he was back to the arena, Sakura still standing at the same place and the infuriating man that he was sure he absolutely despised still in his own spot beside him.</p><p>“Perfect,” The ANBU Commander said, with barely disguised satisfaction, “Back to what you were doing before.” And Kakashi watched as his clone attacked the kunoichi from behind, who reacted quickly enough to dodge.</p><p>“Amazing, isn’t it?”</p><p>It was. It was both amazing and terrifying.</p><p>“I expected her to throw you into hysterics but apparently, she can also give illusions of peace,” He heard him say, “But I suppose this could be another avenue to explore. Wouldn’t it be more painful to lose what you just experienced or to simply make you wish to never lose it at all?”</p><p>“If you think that you can just turn her into another tool—“</p><p>But the man growled aggressively, “I don’t appreciate it when supposedly <em>loyal</em> soldiers put their issues first before the village, Hatake. That is what happened the first time you decided to let all of her potential almost waste away, correct?” The man said spitefully, “It was a good thing she came to me when she did. Whoever assigned you as Dog was a fool.”</p><p>“The village isn’t her reason for allowing herself to turn into weapon,” He hissed back.</p><p>The ANBU Commander finally turned to him, the Dog mask gleaming brightly against the sunlight. Reminding him of the duty that its wearer bore. The moniker Dog was only ever assigned to the Shinobi that the Hokage could trust with no doubts.</p><p>“Konoha can mean differently for every person. I was assigned this mask because I’m loyal to the ideals of the Will of Fire and the village. <em>We </em>are duty-bound to do everything in our power to ensure its continuity,” The man paused to let the gravity of his words sink in, “And to us, Hatake, Konoha <em>always</em> mean the village.”</p><p>Konoha always meant the village.</p><p>Including all of its lies and its false belief in strength through bloody murder.</p><p>Kakashi had always known that he was slated to take over ANBU should anything happen to the man that stood beside him and he had already resigned himself to his fate. He had always put the village above anything else in his life but now…</p><p>Now that he saw what the village—and yes, it was the entire village. He was sure that the Council had a hand in this—was willing to do. To manipulate the most kind-hearted individual he knew. Someone who had been saving the lives of its own ninja day in and day out, who only wanted to protect what she held close to heart. To guide her into turning herself into a weapon of mass destruction so that Konoha could shove its own ideals down another’s throat, he wasn’t so sure.</p><p>And Kakashi remembered Sakura’s vow to protect everyone. To Sakura, Konoha was limited to her precious people but to a girl who had a heart as big as hers, everyone had become important.</p><p>Maybe now, he didn’t know if he could care for the village, its politics and its obsession with power but he knew that he did care for Sakura.</p><p>-x-</p><p>Sakura sat at her usual spot on the floor by the foot of his bed as she bit onto a rice ball he swiped from the kitchen.</p><p>It’s been a few days since he last saw her in her own bedroom. He came back to check on her the next day after working at the police force through the night but he was welcomed by an empty apartment. He simply assumed that Sakura had been called to another mission with their former teacher who had been acting so strange the last time they had met.</p><p>Curiosity piqued, he decided to ask, “What was wrong with Kakashi?”</p><p>“You mean at my apartment?” Sakura frowned for a moment before continuing to chew, “He was just worried, I think.”</p><p>
  <em>He wouldn’t be the only one.</em>
</p><p>The sight of the Copy-nin at his family’s front porch was something he hadn’t expected. The man had avoided his clan like the plague and never bothered to hide his discomfort at the presence of any member of the Uchiha that wasn’t Itachi, Shisui or himself.</p><p>He could understand his worry over Sakura’s well-being though.</p><p>Hatake Kakashi was the type of person who kept people at arm’s length due to his past, a story he had shared to his genin team when they almost died on their first mission to the Land of the Waves and where Kakashi suffered a bout of severe chakra exhaustion in order to save them.</p><p>A story of his former teacher growing up idolizing his father who had killed himself in disgrace, and of his old team where the older man had found a family again only to be the only survivor of a mission gone bad.</p><p>When he had first heard of it, Sasuke couldn’t really resonate with him since he was the youngest child of a prominent clan who was raised spoilt with love from his family and eventually, his team who despite his snobbish attitude when they first met worked hard to beat the elitist attitude out of him.</p><p>Which is why he fully shared Kakashi’s overprotective attitude over the members of Team Seven.</p><p>“Naruto’s back.”</p><p>Sakura turned to him, eyes wide in surprise, “Oh?”</p><p>“Long term.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>Sasuke held back a twitch. An issue he had with this new Sakura was that she talked even less than he did. While their childhood was filled with his complaints about his team’s never-ending need for conversation, it was only now that Sasuke appreciated Naruto and Sakura’s ability to talk through anything since it meant he hardly needed to say a word, “He almost tore down the front door while you were gone. He said the Hokage wants to reinstate Team Seven.”</p><p>Sakura opened her mouth to respond, and promptly closed it again. Probably having no idea what to say so he continued, “I agreed.”</p><p>Her eyebrows scrunched together and an almost frown marred her lips, “Aren’t you busy?”</p><p>“My training’s almost done and the field experience would be good,” He said with a shrug, trying to appear as uncaring as he usually did with team matters.</p><p>“Aa.”</p><p>Sasuke pretended he wasn’t bothered by her use of his own expression, “You’ll be joining us.”</p><p>The frown turned genuine, “Thanks for asking.”</p><p>“It wouldn’t be Team Seven with you,” He said and immediately grimaced when he realized how cheesy that sounded, “Kakashi’s the one who suggested it.”</p><p>That seemed to throw her for a loop, “Kakashi’s in ANBU.”</p><p>“That’s what Naruto told me,” He said. He honestly had no idea what was going on in Kakashi’s mind, “We have training tomorrow. Usual time and place.”</p><p>It was honestly a bit strange to say that again.</p><p>A small part of him always regretted that Team Seven disbanded. He briefly wondered what would have happened if they had stayed together. Would Sakura still join ANBU? Or perhaps he and Naruto would have decided to join her? Or would she have stayed in the hospital? He inwardly sighed. There was no point in dwelling.</p><p>“All right,” He heard her say tiredly.</p><p>Sasuke raised a brow, “I thought you’d be more excited about this.”</p><p>Sakura flinched, “I am. I’m just… not used to working in a team anymore, I guess,” Sasuke looked at her with a hint of doubt and Sakura noticed, “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll be there.”</p><p>Sasuke didn’t give her a response but he was sure there was more to it than that but he wouldn’t press her for answers. Sakura would tell him when she was ready. He could wait.</p><p>“I have to go,” She suddenly announced, making him raise a brow.</p><p>“You’re not staying?”</p><p>Sakura stared at him for a few seconds and smiled teasingly to his surprise, “I’m afraid if I stay another night Mikoto-san’s going to finish planning our wedding within a month.”</p><p>He fought very hard to control the blush that <em>almost</em> made itself known on his face, “Hn.”</p><p>Despite his embarrassment, he really didn’t want to discourage Sakura’s occasional playfulness. No matter how many times he noticed it, it still surprised him how much Sakura had changed and he wasn’t quite sure if it was for the better. She was far more reserved and she always seemed like she was too exhausted to even hold a conversation.</p><p>“You’ll be there tomorrow,” It felt more like a reassurance to himself than anything.</p><p>Sakura gave him a small smile and waved as she stepped on the ledge of the window, getting ready to jump out into the night, “Yeah, yeah. I always keep my promises to you.”</p><p>He hoped that would always be the case.</p><p>Which was why the next day he had walked to the training grounds with some trepidation.</p><p>Was she called last night for another mission? He knew that she’d been taking them so close to each other. The girl was barely ever in the village, which worried him to an extent. The fact that she went on her missions alone was also steadily grating at his nerves as he recalled all the times she had come home bloody and exhausted. The last time she did, Sasuke had almost scheduled a meeting with Tsunade to declare his intention to join ANBU just so he could go with her to make sure she came home in one piece before his promise to her and all his other responsibilities reminded him that he couldn’t.</p><p>His worries were only alleviated when he saw their boisterous blonde teammate conversing with a mop of pink hair by the familiar red bridge.</p><p>Sasuke let out a relieved breath.</p><p>
  <em>She’s here.</em>
</p><p>Naruto was already gesturing wildly, “Sakura-chan, you look tired—“</p><p>“Are you calling me ugly?” He heard her growl, very annoyed.</p><p>As he walked closer to the two, he heard Naruto shout excitedly, “It’s the bastard!”</p><p>Sasuke nearly smiled but didn’t stop his customary response, “Stop calling me that.”</p><p>As they stood beside each other silently, he couldn’t help but notice the bright atmosphere and the light air that surrounded them. It was as if a puzzle had been finally completed. Like everything was finally right.</p><p>Of course, Naruto was the one who pointed this out, “Aren’t you guys excited!? I’m so happy I could burst!”</p><p>Sasuke <em>is</em> excited but he couldn’t help but to keep true to form, he couldn’t stop himself from antagonizing the other ninja, “Excited to get your ass kicked?”</p><p>“Ha!” Naruto said with a haughty laugh, “Just you watch! The stupid ero-sennin taught me a bunch of moves that would destroy your ugly face!”</p><p>“If you say so,” Sasuke said, making him his voice sound as dismissive as possible just to irritate the other ninja.</p><p>“I also got the fox to help me out!” The blonde continued to brag. Naruto had become more open about the Kyuubi that he housed inside his body a few years back when Team Seven reassured him that they couldn’t care less about the demon that was sealed inside him.</p><p>“Not even regeneration can help your lack of a brain,” Sasuke retorted.</p><p>A quick glance at their silent female teammate revealed to him a momentary look of worry that crossed Sakura’s face but it had been so quick that he dismissed it as a figment of his imagination.</p><p>“It really brings tears to my eyes that my team grew up to be very mature and well-balanced people,” They heard a deep voice say with sarcasm.</p><p>“You’re—“ Naruto began, his voice going up a tenor in shock, “actually early!”</p><p>To his utter surprise, Naruto was right. Kakashi was <em>actually</em> on time, which was early considering how their teacher would probably be late for his own funeral.</p><p>“Well, I was the one who requested this. I should at least show up, right?” The older man said with a crinkle in the edges of his visible eye, “Want to start with a light spar?”</p><p>Naruto literally jumped at the opportunity by tackling Sasuke with two of his clones, sending them flying to the nearest training ground and Sasuke couldn’t really bring himself to be annoyed, his adrenaline immediately soaring at the promise of a good fight.</p><p>Despite getting a fair amount of spars with his clan members, none of them had been too willing to injure the son the clan head and the little brother of the ridiculously overprotective clan heir. And as much as he respected the skills of the Uchiha, none of them really presented a challenge for Sasuke other than his brother and Shisui.</p><p>While he and Naruto began their usual grudge match, in his peripheral vision he saw Sakura and Kakashi flicker to the shade of a nearby tree and motioning to sit down.</p><p>He frowned.</p><p>It had always been like this. He and Naruto got their fill of exercise, Sakura always sat nearby to watch. He dodged another tackle from one of Naruto’s clones and delivered a kick to another copy, he tried to recall how it had come to this arrangement before he realized that it was because of them.</p><p>They never asked her to join them.</p><p>And honestly, jumping in the middle of their fight would probably result in more damage than what it was worth.</p><p>Performing a quick shunshin to grab Naruto by his collar—which had been shamefully easy since he trained with Shisui, the idiot was painfully slow for him—he turned to where Sakura sat.</p><p>She was resting against a tree, her eyes closed while their teacher sat beside her, reading his book but Sasuke could see that the older jounin would glance over to their female teammate every once in a while. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. What was he up to?</p><p>“What’s wrong, bastard? Tired already?” Naruto goaded, trying to begin another series of hand seals to create god knows how many clones before sasuke grabbed his appendages to signal him to stop.</p><p>“Sakura,” He called out.</p><p>The aforementioned girl opened her eyes, “What? Is someone injured alrea—“</p><p>“Join us.” Startled green looked at the both of them at the center of the field. She looked slightly confused.</p><p>Naruto bellowed, “Are you crazy, bastard? Sakura-chan could get hurt! What if she—“</p><p>“Shut up,” Sasuke hissed, slightly annoyed that Naruto wasn’t privy to Sakura’s position and the fact that she’s probably faced more enemies than he and the moron combined. Although he couldn’t really explain his slightly smug happiness at the fact that she had shared her secret with him and not the dobe.</p><p>“I think I’d prefer to rest,” She said quietly but there was a hint of hesitation behind her eyes.</p><p>“Go ahead,” It was surprisingly Kakashi who spoke, his eyes never leaving his book, “You need to get used to their fighting styles anyway.”</p><p>A few moments passed before Sakura eventually gave a small nod and stood up, unsealing her sword from a scroll that she carried in her pouch.</p><p>“Just don’t cut off a limb, Sakura-chan,” He heard their former teacher tease.</p><p>He saw Sakura stiffen slightly to which Kakashi’s face minutely tightened. Sasuke was obvservant enough to note that the Copy-nin hadn’t intended to make her uncomfortable with his statement but before anyone could say anything, Naruto—insensitive moron that he was—began to bellow, “Is that yours, Sakura-chan? That’s so cool! I didn’t know you could use a sword now!”</p><p>Sakura gave him a slight smile, “Yeah, I had to learn a few things too, you know?” The words were flat.</p><p>Naruto didn’t even sense the weird atmosphere and began his usual hand signs, “Then I should show off too!”</p><p>Before Sasuke could stop him, the other ninja has already broken from his grasp and created more than fifty clones that filled the clearing.</p><p>Sasuke spent the next 30 minutes dodging and dispelling the copies before he reached the real one and he briefly wondered where Sakura was, the clones shouldn’t have posed a problem for her. And a quick turn of his head saw the other girl leisurely swiping at double the amount of clones that he had, dispelling five at a time.</p><p>He narrowed his eyes at their blonde teammate when he realized what he was doing.</p><p>Naruto was smarter than they gave him credit for apparently, but it seemed like no matter what skills Sakura would gain would never mean much to him. He only ever saw her as someone he needed to protect.</p><p>Sasuke could understand that, he really could but he couldn’t help but feel offended for the girl who he had seen half-dead more times than he should have because she was serving her village rather than traipsing outside of it.</p><p>“Naruto, stop it.”</p><p>“Had enough?” The blonde talked back, all rational thought gone with the thrill of being able to take part in their rivalry again.</p><p>Sasuke sighed, “Stop distracting Sakura with your clones and let her spar with us.”</p><p>Naruto looked at him as if he was the weird one, “What if we hurt her?”</p><p>Sasuke rolled his eyes and stopped himself from losing his temper before he started yelling at Naruto that she <em>could</em> probably cut their limbs off if she actively tried, “You’re an idiot.”</p><p>Naruto sputtered indignantly, “You’re a bastard!”</p><p>“At least I’m not a moron who can’t even read the room,” Sasuke was losing it, “Clearly ‘Reading underneath the underneath’ didn’t get through to your thick skull.”</p><p>“Why you—you’re still a bastard! Sakura-chan needs someone who can protect her!” He heard Naruto shout, his anger obvious from the tone of his voice, “That’s obviously not you, you asshole!”</p><p>That hit Sasuke hard and all his worries about Sakura being on her own on those high-level missions came back with a vengeance.</p><p>“Yeah, at least I’m here in the village <em>with her</em>. Not on a goddamned vacation who knows where and can’t even bother to write!” He snarled back.</p><p>“You—You bastard!” Naruto roared, clones popping up and one beginning to gather chakra in the real Naruto’s hand that swirled with intensity. The leaves on the surrounding trees began to move with the strong wind Naruto’s chakra nature created.</p><p>Sasuke’s fight or flight instincts automatically activated along with his Sharingan. And Sasuke had never known how to flee, not when they faced Zabuza and Haku in wave, and especially not against Naruto. Before he was even aware of it, his hand was already crackling with lightning signaling the beginnings of a Chidori.</p><p>There was no fucking way he was going to let Naruto do whatever he wanted with that technique of his. He could take him and his self-righteous ass down and he was going to make sure that he took his fucking messiah complex with him.</p><p>Everything happened as if they were in slow motion.</p><p>As both he and Naruto charged, they suddenly saw Sakura flicker between them, flinging her sword at Naruto’s clone, effectively ending his jutsu. He was slightly surprised to see that a kunai had followed her sword and pinned the blonde ninja to a tree by his clothes while Sakura ran towards him. Sasuke momentarily panicked because the Chidori in his hand had already formed and there was no way for him to change his trajectory at this point, his momentum already fueling his straightforward charge.</p><p>Sakura grabbed his hand that surged with lightning and with a pulse of chakra pushed it towards the ground.</p><p>He watched in muted horror as she grunted at the lightning chakra that went up her arm and ran through her entire body, leaving third degree burns on her skin in its wake.</p><p>When the last of the lightning chakra he had channeled disappeared from his hand, Sakura was breathing harshly and let go. Her left hand reaching for her right arm that was still experiencing surges of electricity making the girl wince with every spark.</p><p>“What were you two thinking!?” She roared at them as Kakashi appeared beside her. Sasuke caught the older ninja scan their female student with a careful eye, looking for any more damage that she could have incurred from the incident.</p><p>Despite the appearance of the Copy-nin, Sakura still wasn’t done ripping them a new one and with more emotion than he had seen from her the past few months, she glared pointedly alternating between him and Naruto.</p><p>“I have no fucking idea! I don’t have a clue! Why you two thought it would be great to practice killing each other!” She took a deep breath, “This! This is exactly why I thought this was a fucking bad idea! You two are going to kill yourselves before you even set foot outside of the village!”</p><p>“The idiot was—“ He began but Sakura had already turned her back on them.</p><p>“Team Seven was never a team,” She said with finality, “And if this is what’s going to happen, it would never be one.” She walked to grab her sword off the ground and disappeared.</p><p>Kakashi reappeared in front of him, his face tight and dragging a more subdued Naruto by the collar of jacket, “That went well.”</p><p>“It was the bastard’s—“</p><p>Kakashi stopped Naruto before he could continue, “I was watching the fight Naruto. Sasuke wasn’t the one who decided to pull out a Rasengan in the middle of a <em>practice</em> spar.”</p><p>That shut the young blonde up.</p><p>“I don’t care what you guys thought you were doing because whatever it is, I’ll tell you right now it was stupid,” The fact that the Copy-nin’s tone was matter-of-factly than anything else made it all the more harsh to Sasuke’s ears.</p><p>He was right. They were stupid.</p><p>“Naruto, <em>we</em> are going to have a talk with Jiraiya about when to use deadly techniques because obviously you have no business learning them if you’re going to use them against a comrade,” Kakashi paused and rounded on him, “As for you Sasuke, I didn’t teach you the chidori to use it on your teammate but I get that it was done on instinct when you perceived the threat but I suggest—No, I’m ordering the both of you to think first in the future before you decide to maim each other.”</p><p>Sasuke frowned while Naruto continued to look guilty.</p><p>“Best case scenario, you both would have lost an arm while Sakura drains herself trying to make sure that the both of you don’t bleed to death. Worst case, Sakura would’ve been dead.”</p><p>“She wouldn’t have died! She was—She wouldn’t have jumped in—“ Naruto began defensively.</p><p>Kakashi eyed them both, “She would and she would’ve been dead. I should know.”</p><p>Both Sasuke and Naruto stayed quiet.</p><p>-x-</p><p>Itachi, when he wasn’t out on a mission, enjoyed training by himself in a clearing that was deeper into the forests of Konoha than most ninja would venture because of the modicum of privacy and sense of peacefulness it allowed. Occasionally, Shisui would join him but his older cousin was busy with the Police Force today.</p><p>So it was to his surprise when he felt a familiar chakra signature enter the area.</p><p>“Ah, I apologize.” He heard Sakura say before he saw her. Itachi turned to the kunoichi and couldn’t hold back the surprise on his face when he saw the extensive burns that he saw on whatever skin her clothes didn’t cover and the more than scruffy look the other ninja was sporting, her hair was in disarray while her pants and shirt were singed at the edges.</p><p>Before Itachi could ask what happened to her, the younger female spoke, “I’ll look for a different place.”</p><p>Fueled by his curiosity at her disheveled appearance, Itachi unconsciously moved with the swiftness that only years of training with Shisui had ingrained in him and lightly held on to her shoulder, “Stay.”</p><p>Sakura blinked at him.</p><p>“You can stay,” Itachi repeated before he asked, gesturing to her appearance, “What happened?”</p><p>Sakura scrunched her face with an emotion that Itachi couldn’t really place before she sat down on the grass where she stood and went through her pouch taking a jar of salve and bandages, “Training with Team Seven.”</p><p>“I see,” He said. He could clearly recognize the effects of the lightning based jutsu, a rare chakra type in Konoha but both known users were members of Team Seven. Although he highly doubted that Hatake Kakashi would pull that kind of move on a teammate.</p><p>He remembered visiting one of their training sessions before to bring Sasuke lunch at the request of their mother and he recalled seeing his little brother sparring with the Uzumaki Naruto while Sakura read books at the sidelines. Based on their interactions during his visit, it seemed to be a regular occurrence.</p><p>As if sensing the many questions that ran in his head, she spoke, “It was the first time they asked me to join their spar.”</p><p>“Sasuke is improving if could land a hit on an ANBU Member.”</p><p>It was meant to goad her into continuing but realized that his statement could be offending when she frowned and scathingly retorted, “Sasuke’s competing for idiot of the team against Naruto.”</p><p>He watched as she rolled up the sleeve on her arms before generously applying the ointment on her burns.</p><p>“Team Seven seems interesting,” Itachi commented off-handedly.</p><p>In all actuality, Haruno Sakura’s life seemed very interesting. He was sure that his own, despite all the drama that his clan brought, pales in comparison.</p><p>He watched as a frown continued to grace the female’s pretty face, “Team Seven is stupid.”</p><p>“I was told you are all quite competent,” He said in slight wonder, “Does your assessment include yourself?”</p><p>Sakura raised her head to meet his eyes and he watched as the frown turned into a slight smile, “I’m probably the stupidest one of them all.”</p><p>She lowered her head back down to her arm as she continued to apply the salve but spoke further, “I’m risking my life almost everyday to protect people who outclass me as a ninja. Is what am I doing even necessary? If I could survive those missions, I’m sure they could too.”</p><p>That didn’t make sense at all.</p><p>Did she think she was a second-rate shinobi despite everything that she could do? Although he could hazard a guess as to why she had such strong sense of inferiority.</p><p>Being a civilian female placed on a team with the kyuubi jinchuurinki and a son of the Uchiha Clan head hadn’t done her confidence any favors and he if he knew Hatake Kakashi as well as he thought he did, the man most likely had overlooked her due to his own trauma with his old female teammate.</p><p>“They will unlikely make ANBU,” He stated.</p><p>He believed in his brother’s skills as a ninja. While not as advanced as Itachi was, Sasuke is still a top tier ninja and with proper training he had no doubt that his little brother would make a good name for himself. But Sasuke was uncompromising, he had trouble controlling his temper and issues with disconnecting his own feelings from missions, which was necessary for the position.</p><p>Uzumaki Naruto was another case completely. A never-ending well of chakra and had an instinctual ability for battle but personality would be his downfall.</p><p>When his little brother informed him of their first mission to the Land of Waves where the young blonde decided to befriend Momochi Zabuza and his disciple, Sasuke had to spend hours convincing Itachi to refrain from personally requesting that the Hokage transfer Naruto or Sasuke from Team Seven. What he did was both stupid and dangerous. He couldn’t believe that Kakashi had allowed it to happen and even let the former ninja from Mist go by the end of the mission.</p><p>No one with that kind of belief system would last in ANBU and it would be a miracle if he didn’t get himself and his teammates killed.</p><p>But he had to acknowledge that the skills her two teammates had were rare enough to be considered invaluable, “They might be considered an exception.”</p><p>Sakura began to wrap her left arm tightly with the bandages, “They don’t need another Sharingan as long Shisui, you and I are in ANBU.”</p><p>That was true. As long as he and Shisui were kept in rotation, there wasn’t a specific need for another one of their family’s doujutsu in the ranks while Sakura’s proficiency in genjutsu and manipulation had drastically decreased the value of the Sharingan itself.</p><p>He should be offended but deep inside, he was truly grateful. It meant that his family, specifically his little brother, would be a little safer because of her efforts.</p><p>“And Uzumaki-san?” Curious if her blonde teammate was also under her protection.</p><p>“I wonder,” She said wistfully, “You know I’ve never seen Naruto injured or even exhausted. It’s probably why I never imagined him dying but… I’ve been made privy to a piece of information that makes me scared for him.”</p><p>“Rather than an enemy, you are afraid that the Kyuubi would harm him should he lose control?” It was plausible. Chakra demons are highly volatile and there wasn’t enough information on the sealing methods necessary to control something like the Kyuubi.</p><p>“Seals can be broken and Naruto is the type of person who wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he hurt anyone,” She explained.</p><p>“The Kyuubi can be controlled by the Mangekyou Sharingan,” He didn’t know what he hoped to achieve by sharing this piece of information.</p><p>The Mangekyo was a mystery even to the Uchiha, with every pair holding a unique skill and because of the horrific method needed for its activation, it was rare talent even in their clan. Itachi himself didn’t have it and he hoped he never would.</p><p>Sakura looked up at him in surprise, perhaps a bit shocked at the information that he shared. It was enough to be a clan secret after all but she smiled, “Thanks for letting me know but I don’t need the eyes to get it under control.”</p><p>
  <em>She knew a different way.</em>
</p><p>He felt his mind go into overdrive, “What do you intend to do? Sealing? There are not enough scrolls in the village that delve into the sealing arrays necessary for that.”</p><p>“You’re definitely a curious one. I’m working on it.” Sakura chuckled, “In any case, Naruto and Sasuke won’t be wearing a mask any time soon. I’ve made sure of that.”</p><p>She seemed very sure and then it clicked, “You’ve blacklisted their names?”</p><p>“Being the Commander’s favorite has some benefits,” She said flatly but the smile was still on her lips.</p><p>“Does it bother you that you’ve technically capped their careers?”</p><p>Sakura blinked and stared at him, “Not really. You’re right. Naruto would have never passed the evaluation period,” She paused as if to think something over, “Sasuke could but as he is right now, he won’t last very long,” Her lips were in a grim line and he knew his brother well enough to know what Sakura was thinking.</p><p>Sasuke would either hate the work that he was being given and quit early. Or he could be put into a position where he would hesitate and hesitation in their line of work could mean death.</p><p>Itachi felt slightly guilty that he was suddenly very thankful for Sakura’s efforts in hindering his little brother’s career as a ninja.</p><p>She suddenly spoke, the frown back on her lips, “You and Kakashi are too deep in the system for me to do anything right now.”</p><p>He felt the need to reassure her, “ANBU doesn’t bother me.”</p><p>“It doesn’t?” Sakura looked at him, tilting her head to side. Sharp green eyes observed him and he felt like she could read his mind. He had never liked violence in all honestly. Given the choice, he would have preferred to a quiet and peaceful life as a civilian but his talents were needed by Konoha. More than the glory it brought, being a prodigy was a burden.</p><p>“It does not,” He lied.</p><p>Sakura gave him one last look and merely hummed in response before she proceeded to wrap her other arm.</p><p>Itachi couldn’t fathom as to how he understood that the small noise she had made said everything.</p><p>
  <em>It does bother you.</em>
</p><p>He sat down beside her quietly and pried the bandages out of her fingers before continuing the job. This seemed to surprise her more than anything else he’s ever done.</p><p>“Let me help you.” <em>With everything.</em></p><p>Reaching for the bandages in his hands, “I don’t want you to.” <em>I have to protect you too.</em></p><p>“You told me I was important to you,” Itachi began as he moved the roll out of her reach, “Why can’t I hold you in the same regard?” <em>Let me protect you too.</em></p><p>Sakura furrowed her brows at him, “I’m still technically a stranger to you.”</p><p>She had been a stranger to him but now he felt like he knew her like the back of his hand. Haruno Sakura was cared too much about everyone around her and too little about herself.</p><p>“As I am to you, Haruno-san.”</p><p>“But—“</p><p>But Itachi already decided, “Let me care for you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also, everyone's wondering who the ANBU Commander is. He's actually a real character that I found through google. I don't really have any underlying plot for him (for now). He more there to represent the perfect shinobi more than anything. The ninja that would put his village above anything, which is why he's very antagonistic against Kakashi who he feels is a failure when he decided to change his values to not abandoning his teammates over the mission.</p><p>I think the big mission is going to happen in the next chapter, which I hope will be finished in a week. Huhu. Let's all hope my job doesn't eat me alive.</p><p>Please let me know what you think in the comments! They really, really help. Hehe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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